Welcome to the internet’s worst collection of facial feature humor. You searched for this, meaning you have either lost a bet or your sense of humor is severely compromised. We are so sorry for what you are about to read. Get ready to inhale deeply, because these jokes truly stink.
If you need a quick comeback that will make people regret speaking to you, these are perfect. Just do not waste your time trying to sound intelligent.
I would tell you a joke about a blocked nose, but it is too stuffy.
Did you hear about the nose that went on strike? It felt over-blown.
My nose just wrote a book, it is a real scents-ation.
I tried to start a business selling noses, but it just made no scents.
You can always trust a nose because it always smells the truth.
Noses are great detectives because they always sniff out the clues.
Do not trust that nostril, it always seems a bit snotty.
I dropped my fake nose on the floor, and now it is completely runny.
The angry nose yelled at the tissue to blow off.
I gave my nose a promotion because it always knows best.
Short Nose Puns to Keep the Torture Brief
Keep it brief and painful, much like a hit to the face in a game of hockey. Here are rapid-fire jokes to ruin a conversation instantly.
That is right on the nose.
He is incredibly nosy.
Stop being so snotty.
That makes perfect scents.
I completely blew it.
You really picked a winner.
I scent you a message.
Do not blow this out of proportion.
Let me sniff around.
Heaven nose I tried.
Funny Nose Puns Jokes for Your Next Awkward Silence
Try testing these out on your brother during family dinner just to watch his soul leave his body.
Why did the nose not want to go to school? It was tired of being picked on.
What does a nose do when it is angry? It blows its top.
Why did the nose get a parking ticket? It was parked in a no-scent zone.
How do you keep a nose from getting sick? Give it plenty of tissues.
What is a nose’s favorite type of music? R&B (Runny and Blocked).
Why did the nose go to therapy? It had too many hang-ups.
What do you call a nose that loves to read? A book-sniffer.
Why did the nostril cross the road? To get to the other scent.
How do noses communicate? Through scent-ences.
What happens when a nose gets rich? It becomes extremely snotty.
Big Nose Puns for Faces with Built-In Canopies
Some facial features are large enough to block the weather, and we must honor them. If your face has a built-in awning, these are for you.
Your nose is so big it has its own area code.
I tried to look past that nose, but it was a massive blockade.
That nose does not just smell dinner, it forecasts it.
With a nose like that, you must breathe in high definition.
Is that a nose on your face, or a canopy for your chin?
You do not inhale air, you take it hostage.
That nose is large enough to need its own mortgage.
When you sneeze, the whole neighborhood feels the draft.
That snout could double as a windbreaker in a storm.
Your nose casts a shadow that requires a zoning permit.
Big Nose Jokes One-Liners (Because Subtle Does Not Work Here)
You cannot hide a massive beak behind your eyebrows, so you might as well embrace the structural integrity of it.
That nose enters a room five minutes before the rest of your body.
You must save a lot of money using that nose as an umbrella.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and landed directly on that beak?
Your nose is so big it photobombs your own selfies.
You do not just stop to smell the roses, you vacuum them up.
I would insult your nose, but it is already carrying enough weight.
That nose could win a gold medal in sniffing.
Your nostrils look like a two-car garage.
When you turn your head, you create a hazardous crosswind.
That nose could intercept satellite signals.
Nose Jokes One Liners for Adults (The Smutty Section)
Things are about to get weird, inappropriate, and highly offensive, much like our collection of dirty dark humor. Hide this page from your boss.
I like my noses like I like my jokes, incredibly dirty.
Are you a nose? Because I really want to blow you.
I must be a booger because I am totally stuck on you.
You make me harder than dried mucus in winter.
Let us skip the small talk and get right to the sniffing.
Are you congested? Because you take my breath away.
I want to be the tissue you use when things get messy.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but can I pick you up tonight?
I like my bedroom activities a little congested.
Is your nose clogged, or are you just happy to smell me?
Short Nose Jokes for Adults Who Should Know Better
You are too old to be laughing at these, but grab your underwear because we are going straight to the gutter.
We go together like two fingers in a nostril.
I am down for whatever, as long as it gets a little snotty.
Call me a tissue, because I am ready for your load.
You smell like bad decisions and cheap cologne.
Let us get messy and blow off some steam.
I will let you be the booger if I can be the finger.
Things are getting hot and stuffy in here.
Are you a sneeze? Because you are making me wet.
I love it when you talk scents to me in bed.
My safeword is Sudafed.
Nose Puns Dirty Enough to Need a Tissue
These jokes suck harder than a vampire with a blood allergy. Read them at your own risk.
Do you spit or swallow your post-nasal drip?
I am looking for a partner who is not afraid to get deep in the cavity.
If you play your cards right, I will let you snort me.
You must be a sinus infection because you are giving me a massive headache.
I want you to leave me gasping for air.
Can you handle it when things get extremely runny?
I like it rough, just like a dry nostril in the winter.
Are you an antihistamine? Because you stop my flow.
I will be your tissue if you promise to blow my mind.
Do not stop until I am completely congested.
Dog Nose Puns and Cute Snout Jokes About Love
Let us pivot away from the filth and get nauseatingly sweet, similar to a sappy Valentine’s math pun. Look at the cute doggies.
I puggin love your cute little snout. 🐶
You are totally pawsome from head to nose. 🐾
I sniffed you out and you are the one. ❤️
My love for you is nothing to sneeze at. 🤧
I would never boop another nose but yours. 🐕
You have the most beautiful scent in the world. 🌸
Our love makes perfect scents to me. 🥰
I am totally mutts about your little nose. 🐶
You had me at the very first sniff. 💕
Let us snuggle and touch snouts all day. 🐾
Boops and Nose Puns About Love (Prepare to Gag)
If these do not make you melt like dropped ice cream, you are probably dead inside.
Boop! I scent you all my love today. ❤️
You are the only one I want to boop forever. 🥰
I am completely stuck on you like a stubborn booger. 😅
Every time you sneeze, my heart skips a beat. 💕
You always knows exactly how to make me smile. ✨
I want to hold you closer than a used tissue. 🤧
We belong together like two matching nostrils. 💖
I am breathless every time you look my way. 😍
My feelings for you are totally un-blocked. 💯
You are the sweetest smell in my life. 🌸
Broken Nose Puns and Sinus Tragedies
Pain is hilarious when it happens to someone else, especially if their face looks like it exploded like a bomb.
I broke my nose and now my life is in ruins.
My broken nose is a totally smashing success.
I walked into a door and now my face is completely busted.
Getting punched in the nose really shifted my perspective.
My nose job was a complete bust.
I told a lie and my nose broke, I guess it cracked under pressure.
Having a broken nose is a real pain in the face.
I tried to fix my broken nose with glue, but it did not stick.
My sinuses are absolutely crushed by the news.
I guess I just have a really fragile scent of smell.
Runny Nose Puns for Allergy Season Survivors
Nothing ruins a day faster than sniffing out invisible mold spores and leaking everywhere.
My nose is running so fast it deserves a medal.
I cannot catch my nose, it is completely on the run.
My sinuses are doing a marathon today.
If my nose runs any faster, I will get a speeding ticket.
This allergy season is a total drip.
I am leaking like a broken faucet right now.
My nose is in a hurry, it just keeps running.
I tried to catch my runny nose, but it was too fast.
My face is currently a terrifying waterfall.
I need a tissue before my face completely floods.
Nose Piercing Humor That Will Make You Wince
Shoving a piece of iron through your cartilage is a choice, and we are going to judge you for it.
My new nose ring is totally metal.
I got a piercing because I wanted to look really sharp.
Getting my nose pierced was a hole lot of fun.
I am stuck on this new jewelry like a magnet.
My septum ring makes me look completely bullish.
I wanted a new piercing but I chickened out at the last second.
My nose ring is definitely my most pointed feature.
I poked a hole in my face because I lacked direction.
This stud is the only bling my face needs.
I sneezed and my piercing almost took out an eye.
The Absolute Worst Nose Puns Reddit Actually Upvoted
The internet is a garbage dump, and we are just here sifting through it before we call the police on the original posters.
What do you call a nose with no body? Nobody knows.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is the scenter.
What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me, something smells.
Why can a nose not be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta, just like my fake nose.
What runs but never walks? A nose in winter.
How do you keep a skunk from smelling? Hold its nose.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers.
What drops from the sky and gets in your nose? A sneeze breeze.
Where do noses go to get educated? To the scent-er of learning.
End of the Line for Our Nose Puns One Liners
We have finally reached the end, and we highly suggest you lock the door behind you so you never return to this page.
Rating of Regret: 9.5/10 Cringes. These jokes were a colossal mistake, and you are entirely to blame for reading this far. If you actually enjoyed this torture, please seek professional help or just share this link with your enemies to ruin their day.
Frequently Asked Questions About Snouts and Nose Jokes
We answered these so you do not have to walk around with half-baked knowledge about facial features.
Why does my nose run when it is cold?
Because it is trying to sprint back inside to the warmth where it belongs.
How many smells can a human nose detect?
Over a trillion, yet you still chose to sit next to the guy eating tuna on the bus.
Is picking your nose actually bad for you?
Only for your social life and any chance you had at getting a second date.
Why do we sneeze?
It is your body’s dramatic way of rejecting whatever garbage you just inhaled.
Can a broken nose be fixed with duct tape?
Absolutely not, please step away from the toolbox and consult a medical professional.
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
