You searched for weather jokes because small talk at the office water cooler has finally broken your spirit. We get it. Discussing the barometric pressure is painful, but reading this list might actually be worse. We apologize in advance for what you are about to do to your coworkers. Let the atmospheric suffering begin.
Short Funny Weather Jokes for When Your Attention Span is Melted
You want jokes fast because the heat index is making your brain leak out of your ears. Same here. Check out our desert puns if you need more dry humor, but these short funny weather jokes will do for now.
Quick Rain Puns That Barely Make a Splash
Dripping with sarcasm, these rain jokes are almost as annoying as a damp pair of socks. Perfect for those gloomy days when you want to make everyone else as miserable as you are. If you prefer water creatures, check out our turtle puns to ruin your day further.
I tried to catch some fog earlier, but I mist.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
It is raining cats and dogs, so be careful not to step in a poodle.
How do raindrops tie their shoes? With a bow.
Why do hurried raindrops never get pulled over? They always precipitate the speed limit.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the umbrella? It was a bright idea but it went right over his head.
What do you call a wet bear? A drizzly bear.
Why did the man use ketchup in the rain? Because it was raining catsup and dogs.
I love the rain, it makes me feel so current.
I asked the rain if it wanted to hang out, but it said it was totally poured out.
Sunny Zingers That Cast Immediate Shade
Too much vitamin D makes people weirdly optimistic, so bring them back down to earth with these sunny jokes. If you want a real sweat, read our gym puns next.
Why did the sun go to school? To get a little brighter.
What is the sun’s favorite day of the week? Sunday.
How does the sun listen to music? On the ray-dio.
Why are sunny days so good at keeping secrets? They just lighten up.
What do you call the sun when it is wearing sunglasses? Solar flair.
Why is the sun never invited to parties? It always burns the food.
What did the pig say on a hot summer day? I am bacon.
How do you know the sun is a terrible roommate? It has no chill.
Why did the sun break up with the moon? It just needed more space.
What happens when the sun gets mad? It throws a tanning tantrum.
Weather Jokes One Liners That Will Make You Question the Radar
Do not try to predict the punchlines on these one liners, because the forecast is pure cringe. For more quick hits, you might want to read our board game puns to ruin game night completely.
Lightning-Fast Comebacks for Awkward Elevator Rides
You have exactly thirty seconds to make the intern uncomfortable. Use these lightning jokes to strike fear into their hearts, or trap them completely with our lock puns.
What did the lightning bolt say to the other lightning bolt? You are shocking. ⚡
Why do lightning bolts make bad athletes? They always strike out. ⚾
How did the lightning bolt propose to his girlfriend? With a sparkler. 💍
What is a lightning storm’s favorite dessert? An ice cream sundae. 🍦
What kind of news does lightning like? Current events. 📰
Why did the cloud break up with the lightning? There was no spark. 💔
What do you call a stupid lightning bolt? A dim bulb. 💡
How do clouds pay for their coffee? With lightning cash. ☕
What is a lightning bolt’s favorite part of the body? The collar bone. 🦴
Why are lightning storms so good at dating? They really know how to sweep you off your feet. 🌪️
Breezy Barbs to Survive Small Talk
When the wind blows, let the terrible jokes flow. These are almost as exhausting as pretending to care about the weekend forecast. Pair with our laundry puns for maximum domestic boredom.
What do you call a fan who loves the wind? A blow hard. 💨
Why did the wind go to the doctor? It was feeling a little drafty. 🤧
How does the wind apologize? It says it is blown away by its own behavior. 🍃
What is the wind’s favorite color? Blew. 🔵
Why did the tree hate the wind? It was always rustling its leaves. 🌳
What do you call a polite breeze? A gentle sir-culation. 🎩
Why was the wind so unpopular? It always passed gas. 🤢
How do you catch a loose breeze? With a wind breaker. 🧥
Why are windy days bad for secrets? They tend to blow it. 🤫
What did the gentle breeze say to the hurricane? You totally suck. 🌪️
Dad Jokes About Weather: Prepare for an Absolute Groan-pour
Father figures love looking at the sky and acting like they control it. If these dad jokes about weather do not cause a collective eye roll, nothing will. Need more dad energy? Check out our brother jokes.
Classic Dad Material (High Pressure, Low Quality)
The absolute lowest tier of comedy, served with a side of cargo shorts. These jokes are best delivered while squinting at a dark cloud over the peaks, much like our mountain puns.
Why do meteorologists make bad dinner guests? They are full of hot air.
What falls but never breaks? Dusk.
What breaks but never falls? Dawn.
How do hurricanes see? With one eye.
Why did the weather forecaster get fired? He was always under the weather.
What did the tornado say to the sports car? Want to go for a spin?
How do you find a lost cloud? Use a radar.
Why do clouds hate going to the bank? They get charged for overdrafts.
What happens when a fog rolls into town? Everything is totally mist.
How does a weatherman order a drink? On the rocks.
Snow and Winter Puns to Completely Freeze the Room
Cold weather brings out the worst in all of us. Before you pack your bags for the slopes, freeze out your friends with these winter zingers, or torture them with our snow vacation puns.
What is an igloo without a toilet? An ig.
How do mountains stay warm in the winter? They put on their snow caps.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
What is a snowman’s favorite breakfast? Frosted flakes.
Why do snowmen never get married? They always get cold feet.
How do you know it is too cold outside? Even the politicians have their hands in their own pockets.
What did one snowflake say to the other? You are one of a kind.
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots? He was picking his nose.
What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
How does a snowman get to work? By icicle.
Weather Jokes for Adults (The NSFW-ish Forecasts)
We are keeping it PG-13, but these jokes have a little more humidity to them. For truly foul humor, you might want our dark humor jokes dirty collection instead.
Short Funny Weather Jokes for Adults Who Hate Leaving the House
Let us be honest, you check the weather just to find an excuse to cancel plans. Use these to soften the blow when you bail and stay inside to read our baking puns.
I would make a joke about the wind, but it absolutely blows.
Why do hurricanes hate dating? They always leave a path of destruction.
What is the difference between a horse and the weather? One is reined up, the other rains down.
Why did the woman go outside with her purse open? She expected some change in the weather.
What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer? You make my temperature rise.
Why did the adult cloud stay home? It was feeling a bit heavy.
How do you know when it is raining cats and dogs? You step in a poodle.
Why did the meteorologist file for divorce? The relationship lost its spark.
What is a tornado’s favorite party game? Twister.
Why are summer days so exhausting? The heat literally beats you down.
Weather Jokes for Adults One-Liners to Drop at Happy Hour
A few drinks in, and you are basically a stand up comedian. Or at least you think you are. You can also mix in some ice cream puns if things get awkward.
My coworker asked if I liked the rain, and I told him it makes me totally wet.
You must be a blizzard, because you are making me shiver.
I like my weather how I like my coffee, hot and totally dark.
Are you a hurricane? Because you are blowing me away.
If I was a cloud, I would completely shower you.
Are you a lightning bolt? Because you are striking.
I tried to talk about the humidity, but things got too sticky.
Why are droughts the worst lovers? They leave you totally dry.
I wanted to make a joke about the cold, but it was too nippy.
The forecast said a 100 percent chance of regret tomorrow morning.
Clean Weather Jokes for Kids Who Refuse to Go Outside
Getting kids off their tablets is impossible, but maybe these clean jokes will distract them for five seconds. If not, try bribing them with pancake puns.
Giggles About Clouds, Rainbows, and Precipitation
Cute, innocent, and completely harmless. These jokes are so wholesome they might actually make you sick. Bring them to your next gathering along with our baby shower puns.
What is a cloud’s favorite candy? Rain drops.
Where do rainbows go when they are bad? To prism.
What kind of bow cannot be tied? A rainbow.
Why did the cloud stay home from school? It was feeling under the weather.
What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.
How do you wrap a cloud? With a rainbow.
What is the King’s favorite kind of precipitation? Hail.
Why are clouds so smart? They have high IQmulus.
What did the cloud say to the sun? You are right in my weigh.
How do raindrops clean themselves? They take a shower.
Tornado and Storm Jokes That Will Not Cause Nightmares
We toned down the destruction so the little ones can laugh without needing therapy. Need more safe humor? The snowman jokes are right over here.
What is a tornado’s favorite game? Twister.
Why did the tornado get arrested? For speeding.
What did the tree say to the wind? Leave me alone.
How do thunderstorms greet each other? With a big wave.
Why are tornadoes so bad at sharing? They always take everything for a spin.
What is a storm’s favorite animal? A rain deer.
Why did the little boy put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
What do you call a dangerous precipitation? A brain storm.
Why do storms never hide? Because they are too loud.
How do you know the wind is angry? It starts howling.
Weather Jokes Reddit Actually Laughed At (A Minor Miracle)
Getting a laugh out of a Redditor is harder than predicting an earthquake. We scoured the depths of the internet to find these, right next to the maga puns and terrible memes.
The Internet’s Best Rants About Humidity
Humidity is the enemy of good hair and comfortable living. Here are the jokes people type when their fingers are sticking to their keyboards, mostly from folks who need some california puns to cool off.
Humidity is just the air giving you an unwanted hug.
Why did the man sweat inside? Because the humidity was an absolute joke.
It is not the heat, it is the stupid stupidity.
Why is humidity so rude? It never gives you personal space.
How does the air feel in Florida? Like breathing in a bowl of soup.
Why do people hate muggy weather? It feels like you are getting mugged by the air.
What is a ghost’s favorite weather? High boomidity.
I asked the weather to cool down, but it gave me the cold shoulder.
Why does humidity make people crazy? It goes straight to their heads.
What is worse than a hot day? A hot day with a bad attitude.
Meteorologist Roasts from the Front Page
The only job where you can be wrong half the time and still get paid. We are roasting the TV weather people today. If you want to roast someone else, check out our lawyer puns.
Why are meteorologists great at poker? They are experts at bluffing.
What do you call a weatherman who is always right? Unemployed.
How do meteorologists measure their success? By the degree.
Why did the weatherman bring a bar of soap to work? He wanted to forecast some showers.
What is the difference between a weatherman and a politician? A weatherman can only guess the future.
Why do weathermen wear green screens? So their lies are totally transparent.
How do you become a meteorologist? Master the art of pointing at nothing.
Why did the weatherman get a ticket? He ran a red lightning.
What does a weatherman do at a party? Predicts the atmosphere.
Why are weathermen bad at relationships? They have a lot of trust issues.
Wrapping Up the Worst Weather Jokes One Liners Ever Told
Congratulations, you survived the absolute worst weather jokes the internet has to offer. My personal Rating of Regret for this list is an agonizing 9/10 Cringes. If you are not completely exhausted yet, go torture your loved ones with some valentine puns for friends. Now get out of here before the cringe front rolls in completely.
People Also Ask: Why Are Weather Jokes Reddit’s Worst Nightmare
Are weather jokes actually funny?
No, they are a defense mechanism for terrible small talk.
Why do dads love meteorology so much?
Because predicting the rain is the only time they feel truly in charge of the household.
Can I use these at work without getting fired?
Probably, but HR might still want to have a word with you about your sense of humor.
Will my friends judge me for sending these?
Yes, send them some thank you puns afterward to apologize for the cringe.
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
