Look, you searched for lemon puns, which means your life has hit a very specific kind of low. We are not judging you (much), but we do apologize in advance for the sheer volume of yellow fruit jokes you are about to endure. Grab a glass of water, because this is going to be incredibly sour, highly regrettable, and completely absurd.
Send these to your crush if you want them to block you immediately. At least you can lock down your reputation as a weirdo.
You are my main squeeze.
I love you a lemon amount.
We make a sub-lime couple.
You are the zest thing that ever happened to me.
I can not concentrate when you are around.
You are simply the zest.
Let us never split our lemonade.
I am completely sour on anyone who isn’t you.
You give my life some serious flavor.
I am puckering up just thinking about you.
Romantic Lemon Puns for Your Next Failed Relationship
Nothing says romance like comparing your partner to acidic produce that burns your eyes. Wrap yourself in some comfortable underwear and prepare to text your ex.
I find you very a-peel-ing.
You are the lemonade to my summer day.
My love for you is never sour.
We are mint to be together in this tea.
I am citrus-ly in love with you.
You make my heart drop like a lemon in a glass.
I will never desert you for a lime.
You bring the sunshine to my orchard.
I am absolutely crushed over you.
Let us squeeze every drop out of this romance.
Lemon Puns About Love That Border on Desperation
When being cute fails, just start throwing fruit jokes at them until they finally give in. It works for twins, so maybe it will work for you.
Please do not leave me feeling bitter.
I am begging you to rind me in your heart.
Do not leave me in a sour mood.
I am literally peeling apart without you.
You are the only zest I need in this cruel world.
I will be your main squeeze forever if you just reply.
My love is freshly squeezed and very needy.
I am trapped in a citrus cycle of loving you.
Give me a chance to sweeten the deal.
I am officially out of juice waiting for you.
Short Lemon Puns for Your Terrible Instagram Grid
Your followers are already tired of your selfies, so you might as well punish them with these captions. Pretend you are a famous DJ dropping the worst beat of all time, or maybe just someone who appreciates terribly short midget jokes.
Feeling zesty today. 🍋
Just a little sour. 💛
Squeeze the day. ✨
Easy peasy lemon squeezy. ✌️
Keeping it fresh. 🍋
A little citrus therapy. ☀️
Pucker up, buttercup. 💋
Find your zest. 💛
Life gave me lemons. 🍋
Staying sub-lime. 🌿
Cute Lemon Puns One Liners for Tiny Attention Spans
If your friends can barely read a text message, these quick hits will do the trick. Just pray the weather is nice enough to distract them from how awful these are.
I am the zest in class.
Do not be such a sourpuss.
That idea is a total lemon.
You are in the limelight now.
Keep calm and squeeze on.
I am in a very zesty mood.
Just adding some flavor to your feed.
Do not let life make you bitter.
This outfit is strictly citrus.
Serving pure lemonade vibes.
Clever Lemon Puns and Jokes for Absolute Sourpusses
You think you are smart, but you are still reading an article about fruit jokes on the internet. Do not let that reality tick you off too much, even if it feels as exhausting as reading maga puns at a family dinner.
When the lemon failed its driving test, it claimed the car was a lemon.
The lemon stopped rolling down the hill because it ran out of juice.
The doctor told the lemon to take some vitamin C.
I asked the lemon for help, but it just gave me a bitter response.
The lemon became a lawyer because it knew how to squeeze out the truth.
Why did the lemon go to the doctor? It was feeling a little sour.
The detective lemon always found the rind suspect.
When the lemon got a promotion, it felt very zestful.
The lemon went to therapy to work on its bitterness.
The lemon crossed the road to get to the squeeze on the other side.
The Best Lemon Puns We Shamelessly Found on Reddit
We stole these from people who spend too much time on forums complaining about plot holes. If you know the Candice joke, you belong exactly right here with the rest of us.
What do you call a cat who eats lemons? A sourpuss.
Did you hear about the lemon that went to space? It was looking for the sub-lime.
Why do lemons use sunscreen? Because they peel.
What did the lemon say to the lime? We are pretty citrus together.
How do lemons greet each other? Yellow!
Why did the lemon fail math? It could not concentrate.
What is a lemon’s favorite dinosaur? A Tyrannosaurus Zest.
How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it go.
Why was the lemon all alone? Because the banana split.
What happens when two lemons collide? They get crushed.
Bitter Birthday Lemon Puns for People You Barely Tolerate
You forgot to buy a gift, so you are writing a passive-aggressive card instead. Give this to your annoying brother and watch him fake a smile like he just lost a hockey game.
Happy birthday to someone who is simply the zest.
Hope your birthday doesn’t suck like a lemon.
You are aging like a fine lemon, getting more bitter every year.
Have a sub-lime birthday party.
It is your birthday, so squeeze the day.
Do not be sour about getting older.
Wishing you a day full of sunshine and citrus.
Let us get juiced tonight for your birthday.
Hope you get everything you want, easy peasy.
You still have a lot of zest for life.
Inappropriate and Dirty Lemon Puns to Ruin the Mood
Do not send these to HR unless you actively want to be fired. If you are into dark humor, you will probably enjoy making everyone around you highly uncomfortable with these.
I would love to be your main squeeze tonight.
Want to come over and show me your zest?
I am ready to get completely juiced with you.
You make my lips pucker in all the right ways.
Let us skip the small talk and get straight to the rind.
I have been feeling very citrusy and reckless lately.
Are you going to peel those clothes off or what?
We could make a very messy lemonade together.
I love it when you talk sour to me.
Things are about to get really sticky.
Wholesome Fruit Puns Because Lemons Get Lonely
Lemons cannot carry this entire article alone, so we invited some other produce to the party. Consider this the baking aisle of the joke world (bland, predictable, and necessary).
You are one in a melon.
I love you berry much.
We make a great pear.
You are the apple of my eye.
Let us mango crazy tonight.
I am grapey to see you.
You are totally bananas.
I find you very peachy.
This is going to be a plum disaster.
Do not give me a fig attitude.
Mildly Amusing Lemon Puns for Kids and Cartoons
Keep the children distracted with these clean, agonizingly simple jokes. Buy them some ice cream afterward to apologize for your objectively poor parenting skills.
What is a lemon’s favorite sport? Squash.
Why did the lemon cross the playground? To get to the slide.
What color is a happy lemon? Yellow.
Where do lemons go to school? The fruit academy.
What do you call a fast lemon? A zoom fruit.
Why was the lemon sad? It lost its peel.
How does a lemon answer the phone? Yellow speaking!
What is a lemon’s favorite movie? The Wizard of Ounce.
Why did the lemon wear glasses? It could not see.
What did the mommy lemon say to the baby lemon? You are so cute.
Are These Funny Lemon Puns Over Yet?
You have made it to the end, and we are both deeply ashamed of this transaction. Much like mold on a forgotten piece of citrus in the back of your fridge, these jokes will haunt you for weeks. If you actually enjoyed this, please go outside and touch some grass. Otherwise, share this link with your enemies to ruin their day.
Desperate Questions About Cute Lemon Puns
What is the most famous lemon pun?
It is usually some variation of “you are my main squeeze,” which is about as creative as a vampire hiding in a coffin.
Are lemon puns good for pickup lines?
Only if your goal is to stay single forever. They are a fantastic way to guarantee nobody ever texts you back.
Why do people make jokes about lemons?
Because life gives them to us, and humans cope with existential dread by making terrible wordplay about fruit.
Can I use these lemon puns in a wedding speech?
You can legally do whatever you want, but doing that will likely result in an immediate divorce and a very quiet reception.
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
