Welcome to the absolute bottom of the internet where we have compiled the worst arm puns humanly possible just so you can annoy your friends. People usually search for this anatomical nonsense while waiting in line at the DMV or trying to avoid eye contact at Thanksgiving dinner.
Please copy these terrible jokes and paste them into your group chats so we can collectively lower the standard of modern communication.
Top 10 Short Arm Jokes to Answer the Web’s Most Painful Searches
Google is full of questionable queries about human limbs, so we threw together this list to satisfy the algorithm and your morbid curiosity. Feel free to pair these with some mind-numbing brain puns if you really want to lose friends today.
Why did the skeleton refuse to fight? He did not have the stomach or the arms for it.
I bought a new deodorant today, but I am totally up in arms about the price.
My bicep routine is a joke, but I have to hand it to my trainer for trying.
The octopus was a terrible comedian because his jokes were practically armless.
Why do army generals make bad comedians? They always give away their arms.
I tried to grab a discount at Target, but it cost me an arm and a leg anyway.
The clock went to the hospital because it lost both of its hands and an arm.
My left limb is always getting in trouble, it is basically a firearm.
When the T-Rex tried to do a pushup, he realized his plan was completely armless.
I asked my doctor about my elbow pain, and he said it was just a false alarm.
We opened a bakery for upper limbs and called it the Barm Mitzvah.
Tinder Bios Guaranteed to Disarm Your Matches Using Arm Puns One Liners
Dating apps are a wasteland of guys holding fish, so you might as well use these arm puns to ensure nobody ever messages you back. If these do not work, you can always resort to our corny heart puns to secure a tragic first date.
One Arm Puns for When You Only Have Swipe Right Energy
Sometimes you only have the energy to use a single appendage while scrolling through Tinder on the couch. Here are enough one-sided jokes to prove you are only giving fifty percent effort.
I am looking for a relationship that is totally harmless but mostly armless 🤷♂️
My dating standards are low, I would literally give my right arm for a text back 📱
Swipe right if you think my profile is charming and not completely unhinged ✨
I only have one good pickup line, so I am bringing strong single-arm energy to this app 🦾
Let us go get coffee, I promise not to strong arm you into paying ☕
Just a guy looking for someone to be my right hand arm man 🤝
I am very left-leaning, mostly because my right arm is tired from swiping 👈
If we match, I will definitely welcome you with open arms and zero expectations 🤗
Do not worry, my awful sense of humor is completely harmless 😅
I am the kind of date who will arm you with useless trivia all night long 🤓
I may only have one good joke, but I am heavily armed with bad ones 🤡
Missing Arm Puns for Ghosting Etiquette
If you plan on matching with someone and vanishing like a coward, at least leave them with a terrible pun on your way out. Better yet, combine these with some awful eye puns so they never want to see you again.
I would text you back, but I am currently unarmed and unable to type 👻
Sorry I disappeared, I simply did not have the arms to hold this conversation together 😶🌫️
You can try to reach me, but my phone is completely out of arm’s reach forever 🏃♂️
I left you on read because my texting fingers were tragically disarmed 📵
Our connection was severed, much like a missing arm at a medieval joust ⚔️
I ghosted because the pressure to reply cost an arm and a leg I did not have 💸
Consider this match amputated, we are officially armless now ✂️
I could not hold on to this spark, my conversational arms simply fell off 🤷♀️
My ability to reply to “hey” went totally MIA, just like my upper limbs 🫥
I am bowing out of this chat, leaving you entirely unarmed and confused 🚪
It is not you, it is just my phantom arm acting up again 👻
Broken Arm Puns for Getting Sympathy Signatures on Your Cast
Breaking a bone in the US means dealing with catastrophic medical bills, so you might as well farm some sympathy laughs to numb the pain. Before checking WebMD and crying, write these on your fiberglass cast or check out our terrible knee puns for lower body trauma.
I guess you could say my skateboarding career is officially on a break.
My doctor told me to stay positive, but I am pretty heavily fractured right now.
This medical bill is going to cost me a literal arm and maybe my retirement fund.
I asked the nurse if I could still play piano, but she said my humor was totally busted.
Do not worry about my injury, the whole situation is completely armless.
I went to the hospital for a minor ache and left with a major casting role.
My radius is snapped, but my terrible jokes are still fully armed.
I am currently taking applications for a right-hand man because mine is currently broken.
They said I needed a sling, but I am just trying to hang in there.
My humerus is broken, which is ironic because this situation is not funny at all.
I tried to high-five the doctor, but the vibes were totally crushed.
Hand Puns and Arm Wrestling Jokes to Send Your Group Chat Into Panic
There is no quicker way to ruin a thriving iMessage group chat than by dropping unsolicited anatomy jokes on a Tuesday afternoon. If you truly want to watch your friends mute the thread, hit them with these, or head over to our full anatomy humor guide for maximum conversational damage.
I challenged my dad to arm wrestling, but he totally had the upper hand 💪
You guys need to hand it to me, these jokes are top tier 👏
I would type a better message, but I am a little short on hands today ✋
Arm wrestling is a great sport because it is so handy for resolving arguments 🤼
I tried to get a grip on reality, but it slipped right through my fingers 🤚
Let us give a big round of applause to the guy who just lost his arm wrestling match 👏
I am not saying I am strong, but I can definitely handle myself in a thumb war 👍
My group chat is out of control, I really need to strong arm you guys into behaving 😤
I won the tournament because I was heavily armed with sheer stubbornness 🏆
Can someone lend me a hand? I dropped my phone reading these awful texts 📱
You have to hand it to the IRS, they always find a way to strong arm my wallet 💸
Arm Jokes for Adults to Ruin the Next Corporate Slack Channel Meeting
Nothing screams “quiet quitting” like pasting HR-violating puns into the company-wide Slack during a Q3 earnings update. We highly suggest throwing some bare-bones skeleton jokes in there too, just to ensure you never get promoted. Oh, and here is a link to the absolute [best body puns]([INSERT PILLAR URL]) if you need more corporate sabotage material.
I asked my boss for a raise, and he tried to strong arm me into working weekends.
Our Q4 budget is so tight it is going to cost the department an arm and a leg.
I cannot complete this spreadsheet because my motivation is completely armless.
The manager told us to reach out to clients, but my arms are tired from typing.
I would give you a hand with that project, but I am heavily armed with excuses today.
The new corporate policy is completely up in arms over casual Friday.
We need to embrace synergy, but I prefer to keep my coworkers at arm’s length.
My performance review was a disaster, they said my productivity was totally unarmed.
I tried to roll up my sleeves and work hard, but my arms went on strike.
If HR asks, my terrible jokes are completely harmless and meant for team building.
The CEO just bought a yacht while we are over here sacrificing our arms to the keyboard.
Waving Goodbye: The End of Our Arm Puns List
You have officially reached the bottom of this tragic barrel of jokes, and honestly, we are judging you for reading this far. Please close this tab and go reflect on your life choices before you speak to another human being.
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
