You are stuck in a metal box hurtling down the highway at 70 mph with people you used to like. The snacks are gone. The GPS is confused. The vibes are deteriorating rapidly. We understand the desperation you are feeling right now.
To help you survive the next four hours of staring at asphalt, we compiled this list of road trip jokes. They are bad, painful. Might make your dad laugh, which is honestly the worst outcome. We apologize for what you are about to read.
You have just pulled out of the driveway. Morale is high. The playlist is fresh. You have not yet realized that you forgot to pack your toothbrush. Here are some puns to ruin the mood immediately. If you spot some wildlife on the shoulder, you might also regret reading our opossum puns later.
I am wheely excited for this trip.
We are going to have a brake through on this vacation.
This traffic is e-exhaust-ing me already.
I tire quickly of people asking if we are there yet.
Let’s shift gears and talk about something else.
That driver was rude-trip material.
I have been working on my tank top tan lines.
Don’t stall the inevitable fun.
This car has a lot of drive and ambition.
We are going to have a gas on this adventure.
Please don’t idle around when we stop for snacks.
I auto know better than to let you navigate.
Seatbelts are important so stick to it and buckle down.
Our itinerary is steering us in the right direction.
I am fuming because the AC is broken.
Car Ride Jokes When You Are Running on Fumes
It is hour six. Your back hurts. You have consumed 400 mg of caffeine and you are vibrating. Speaking of caffeine, if these don’t wake you up, our coffee dad jokes might finish the job. Here are jokes for when the check engine light of your soul turns on.
I am trunk with power when I hold the aux cord.
This journey is drag-ging on a bit too long.
Do not bumper into me while I am sleeping.
I have reached my limit with this speed trap.
You are driving me up the wall.
Let’s take a brake fast before I lose it.
That scenic view was miles ahead of expectations.
I am losing my bearings in this roundabout.
We are on the highway to yell.
Stop clutching onto that bag of chips.
This trip is accelerating my aging process.
I honk therefore I am.
My patience is in reverse right now.
That shortcut was a lane excuse for getting lost.
I am wiper-ed out after that traffic jam.
Travel Jokes for the Backseat Bandits
The kids are fighting. Someone touched someone else’s side of the seat. You need a distraction before you turn this car around. If they like sci-fi, maybe switch to Star Wars dad jokes to buy yourself ten minutes of peace.
We are roaming to a new location.
This vacation is a trip and a half.
Do not get carried away with the luggage.
I am a travel agent of chaos.
This motel is inn-sane.
I packed a punch with these snacks.
Let’s cruise through this state quickly.
We are ticketed for a good time.
Don’t be a drag on our ETA.
I am mapping out a strategy to ignore you.
This route is un-chart-ed territory for us.
I have too much baggage for this conversation.
We are touring apart this family dynamic.
Let’s fly down the interstate.
This rest stop is a sight for sore eyes.
Scenic Route Puns That Go Off Road
You decided to take the “scenic route” which is code for “we are lost in the woods.” If you are actually heading into nature, you might want to brush up on campfire jokes or bear puns in case you never make it back to civilization.
This view is un-be-leaf-able.
I am pining for a real bathroom.
We are taking the path of least resistance.
I am rooted to this car seat.
This mountain road is peak comedy.
We are branching out to new areas.
Stop barking orders at the driver.
I am fern-ly against camping.
This valley is gorge-ous.
We are totally lost in the moment.
Don’t take me for granite while I drive.
This road is a bit rocky.
I am stream-ing music offline.
The sun is glaring at me.
Nature is calling and I answered.
Drive Thru Jokes because We Are Hungry
It is the part of the road trip where you eat garbage food because “calories don’t count on the interstate.” We stopped for greasy food, so naturally, I thought about pizza puns and taco puns. Here are jokes about your poor dietary choices.
I am fast food furious.
This burger is bun in a million.
I am soda pressed we stopped here.
Let’s ketchup on some sleep.
I am fry-ing in this heat.
Don’t be salty about the fries.
This shake is cool beans.
I am fed up with this menu.
We are on a roll now.
This wrap is a pita to eat while driving.
I am nacho average driver.
Let’s taco ’bout the route.
This drink is straw-ng.
I am eating up the miles.
This meal was a heavy load.
Ridiculous Names for Your Trusty Beater
You have spent 12 hours in a vehicle. You start personifying it. If your car breaks down, you might need some funny plumber jokes to distract the mechanic, or just use one of these names.
Here is the section you can read out loud to annoy everyone. We stripped out the Q and A labels because we know you are skimming. If these aren’t bad enough, try our clean funny jokes for work to really bore your passengers.
You need to prove to your followers that you are having a “great time” even though your legs are numb. If you are heading somewhere tropical, use our Hawaii puns or ocean puns instead.
My way or the highway. 🛣️
All roads lead to snacks. 🍟
Keep your eyes on the prize and the road. 🚗
Just here for the gas station candy. 🍬
Life is a highway and I am stuck in traffic. 🛑
Too tired to think of a caption. 😴
Going the extra mile for content. 📸
I have a one-track mind. 🛤️
This trip is wheel-y fun. 🎡
RV there yet? 🚌
Maximum Mileage of Cringes
We have reached the end of the road. Literally. We hope these jokes helped pass at least three minutes of your twelve-hour drive. If you hated them, please keep your eyes on the road and do not text us angry messages.
Rating of Regret: 9/10 Empty Gas Tanks. If you are still bored and your data plan allows it, go check out our book title puns to pretend you are reading instead of scrolling.
The Glovebox of Burning Questions
Why are road trip jokes so bad?
Because they are designed to exhaust you so you fall asleep and stop asking for bathroom breaks. It is a psychological tactic used by drivers everywhere.
How do I stop my family from arguing in the car?
Play the quiet game. Or read them bee puns until they beg for silence. The fear of more puns creates unity.
What is the best game to play on a road trip?
“Who can spot the weirdest license plate.” Or “Find a car that looks like a vegetable.” It keeps the bar low and the engagement high.
Can I use these puns on a plane?
You can, but the audience cannot escape. That is considered a hostage situation. Stick to funny snow jokes if you are flying over the alps.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
