Look, we know why you are here. You have an assignment, a terrible greeting card to write, or you are just doom-scrolling and hit a weird corner of the internet. We aren’t here to judge you. We are just here to provide the amphibious wordplay you desperately think you need.
Welcome to the swamp. We have compiled a list of frog jokes so slippery and cringe-inducing that you might actually physically recoil. Put on your rain boots. It is about to get messy in here.
Toad-ally Romantic Frog Love Puns for Your Significant Otter
You want to woo someone with frog humor? That is a bold strategy. Let’s see if it pays off. These frog love puns are perfect for Valentine’s Day or just annoying your partner on a Tuesday.
You are toad-ally the one for me.
We are going to live hoppy ever after.
I find you absolutely ribbiting.
You are un-frog-ettable to me.
I am stuck on you like a frog on a fly.
You make my heart leap with joy.
I would never jump to conclusions about our love.
Let’s spend a lifetime on the same lily pad.
You are the pad to my lily.
I am green with envy when anyone else talks to you.
You really know how to make a guy croak a smile.
My love for you is pond-erous.
Let’s make a splash together.
You are worth the wart.
I love you warts and all.
Cute Frog Puns That Are Barely Tolerable
Sometimes you just need something small and green to brighten the day. These puns focus on the adorable side of amphibians, assuming you find sliminess adorable.
Have a toad-ally awesome day.
Don’t worry, be hoppy.
You are looking fly today.
Just a little tad excited about this.
Stay cool and keep swimming.
You are my best bud-wise-er.
Just hopping by to say hello.
Feeling a little jumpy right now.
Keep your chin up (and your tongue out).
That is a ribbit of a stretch.
I am pond of you.
You are a leap above the rest.
Don’t be a stick in the mud.
Life is better in the pond.
You are one hip hopper.
Frog Birthday Puns to Ruin the Party
Nothing says “Happy Birthday” like a joke about a swamp creature. Use these frog birthday puns to write on the cake if you want to ensure no one asks for a second slice.
Hoppy Birthday to you!
Another year closer to croaking.
Have a toad-riffic birthday bash.
Let’s get this party jumpin’.
Time flies when you are having flies.
Don’t leap over this special day.
You are aging grace-fully (like a tadpole).
Let’s hop to the cake cutting.
It is your birthday, for frog’s sake.
Hope your day is un-frog-ettable.
Eat, drink, and be hoppy.
Have a fly birthday party.
You are a party animal (amphibian).
Let’s pond-er on your past year.
Make a wish and take a leap.
Professional Puns for the Workplace Swamp
Believe it or not, frogs have jobs too. Mostly just sitting on logs, but it counts. Here are puns about working, productivity, and general laziness.
I am just bogged down with work.
Let’s jump on a call later.
Please stop bugging me.
I need to pond-er this proposal.
That idea is a huge leap forward.
We need to toad the line here.
Can you hop on this task immediately?
Do not croak under the pressure.
This meeting is dragging on.
I am green to this new software.
Let’s tackle this tad-pole sized problem first.
Stop ribbit-ing on about the metrics.
We are in deep water with this deadline.
That is a fly idea for the marketing team.
Let’s not muddy the waters with details.
Puns About Toads Because We Are Inclusive
Toads are just frogs that didn’t use moisturizer. They deserve love too. Here is a section dedicated to the bumpier side of the family.
I toad you so.
Get your car towed away.
Kiss me under the mistle-toad.
She is wearing open toad shoes.
That is toad-ally unacceptable.
Bon appe-toad.
We need a toad-al makeover.
Do not be such a toad.
I am lacking in toad-al recall.
He is a toad-ler (toddler).
Carrying a heavy toad (load).
Go with the flow (and the toad).
That was a toad-al disaster.
Strictly pro-hibbited for toads.
A toad in the hole.
Puns About Flies and Eating Habits
A frog’s life revolves around lunch. If you like jokes about insects and tongues, this specific section was written just for your weird taste.
Time flies when you are having fun.
I am catching some grub.
Got my tongue twisted.
Buzz off already.
This soup has a fly in it (yum).
I would not hurt a fly (unless I was hungry).
Just winging it today.
That is pretty buzz-are.
Caught in a sticky situation.
The buzz around town is loud.
Looking for a quick bite.
Fast food is just fast flies.
Don’t let it bug you.
A fly on the wall sees everything.
Keep your mouth shut (unless eating).
Funny Frog Names for Your Slimy Pet
Did you actually buy a frog? Why? Well, now that you have it, you can’t just call it “Frog.” You need a name that reflects its dignity.
Anthony Hopkins
Kermit the Hermit
Leap-onardo DiCaprio
Frogger
Sir Croaks-a-Lot
Bubba Gump
Gwen Stef-fawny
Hip Hop
Jeremiah (Was a Bullfrog)
Pickles
Snoop Frog
Prince Charming
Yoda
Zuckerberg
Jabba the Hutt
Funny Frog Jokes That Will Make You Croak
Here are the Q&A jokes you need for that awkward silence at dinner. We stripped out the labels because you are smart enough to know which line is the punchline. Hopefully.
What do you call a frog with no back legs? Unhoppy.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
What happens when a frog parks illegally? It gets toad away.
What is a frog’s favorite candy? Lollihops.
What do frogs drink on a hot day? Croak-a-cola.
Where do frogs keep their money? In the riverbank.
What kind of music do frogs listen to? Hip hop.
What do you say to a hitchhiking frog? Hop in.
Why did the frog go to the hospital? He needed a hoppe-ration.
What is a frog’s favorite game? Croak-et.
What do stylish frogs wear? Jumpsuits.
Why did the frog read a book? He wanted to jump into a story.
What do you call a frog spy? A croak and dagger agent.
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Un-hoppy.
What is a frog’s favorite flower? Croak-us.
Short Frog Captions for Instagram (Sorry Followers)
You took a picture of a frog. Your followers didn’t ask for it, but they are getting it. Here are some captions to minimize the unfollows.
Just here for the fly vibes. 🐸
Feeling toad-ally awesome today. ✨
Hippity hoppity, get off my property. 🌿
Chilling on my lily pad. 🍃
Warts and all, baby. 💅
Resting frog face activated. 😑
Leaping into the weekend like… 🚀
Just a small frog in a big pond. 🌎
Don’t worry, be hoppy. ✌️
Ribbiting content only. 📸
Leaping to Frog Love Finish Line
We have reached the bottom of the barrel. Actually, we scraped through the bottom of the barrel and are now digging into the dirt underneath it. If you read this far, we owe you an apology. We rate this experience 9/10 Cringes. Please go drink some water and look at something that isn’t green.
Asking for a Frog Friend
What do you call a girl frog?
A her-petologist’s dream. Just kidding. They are just called frogs. Or “sows” if you want to get technical and ruin the mood.
Do frogs have teeth?
Yes, mostly on the upper jaw. It is terrifying. Do not Google it if you want to sleep tonight.
Why do frogs scream?
Because they exist in a state of constant fear. Also, it is a defense mechanism. But mostly just existential dread.
Can frogs drown?
Ironically, yes. If they can’t get out of the water, they run out of oxygen. Nature is cruel.
Why are frogs slimy?
It helps them breathe through their skin. It’s like a permanent, gross moisturizer that keeps them alive.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
