Welcome to the bottom of the prehistoric barrel. You are probably here because you need to write something funny in a birthday card for a toddler or a grown adult who refuses to grow up. We accept no responsibility for the groans these jokes will induce. If you are looking for high-brow comedy, you took a wrong turn at the Jurassic period. We are sorry.
You are getting old. Like, really old. These jokes are mostly about being a fossil and having wrinkles, which is exactly what everyone wants to hear on their special day. If you think these are tragic, you should see our opossum puns because at least they know how to play dead when the joke bombs.
Hope your birthday is T-Rexcellent.
You are officially a fossil.
Have a roar-some birthday party.
You are pre-historic but still cool.
Let’s get Jurassic wasted.
I dino what I’d do without you.
Sending you monstrous birthday wishes.
Have a dino-mite celebration.
You look raptor-ous tonight.
Don’t be a sore-asaurus about getting older.
Time to scale back on the candles.
You are tricera-tops in my book.
Have a mammoth of a good time.
Age is ir-elephant, oh wait wrong animal.
Veloci-rapper birthday beats drop now.
Short Arm T-Rex Puns For Short Tempers
The Tyrannosaurus Rex is the king of the dinosaurs but also the king of not being able to do push-ups. It is sad but we are going to laugh about it anyway. These are arguably meaner than our bear puns because at least bears can hug you back properly.
I love you this much (spreads arms slightly).
Can you pass the salt? Oh wait, you can’t.
Why so short tempered?
Stop being a small arms dealer.
I find your lack of reach disturbing.
Give me a hug if you can reach.
Clap your hands if you’re happy… oh awkward.
Hand me the remote, T-Rex.
Can’t put on a hat without help.
Trying to make the bed is a nightmare.
Selfies are impossible.
High fives are actually low twos.
Short arms, big dreams.
The struggle is real prehistoric.
Push-ups are just face plants.
Cute Dinosaur Puns That Might Make You Puke
Sometimes you need to be adorable instead of annoying. We tried our best here but cute is not really our strong suit. If you want actual romance and adoration you should probably go read our otter love puns or frog love puns instead.
You make my heart saur.
I think you are dino-mite.
You are tea-riffic Rex.
I love you a ton (literally).
You are claw-fully cute.
Sending you lizard kisses.
You make my heart go boom like a meteor.
Let’s never go extinct.
You are the Steg-best.
My love for you is ancient.
You make my scales tingle.
Never leave me hanging (like a T-Rex).
I dig you the most.
You are my fossil mate.
Let’s cuddle before the asteroid hits.
Dino Love Puns For Your Primal Crush
Trying to woo someone with jokes about giant lizards is a bold strategy. We respect the hustle even if we do not understand it. Here are some lines that are slightly less smooth than our capybara puns but might still work if the bar is low enough.
I chews you.
You make my heart race like a raptor.
Will you be my date?
You are un-bay-leavable.
Let’s meat up later.
I’m head over heels for you.
You spiked my interest.
Don’t go breaking my heart.
I’m wild about you.
Let’s make history together.
You are my prehistoric princess.
I’m not lion, I love dinos.
You are eggs-tra special.
Let’s hatch a plan for dinner.
My love is bigger than a Brontosaurus.
Flying Pterodactyl Jokes That Don’t Land Well
Technically they are pterosaurs and not dinosaurs but we do not care about science here. We only care about bad jokes. These fly about as well as a lead balloon or a fat bee.
Pter-rible jokes incoming.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
Wing man of the year.
Don’t get flap-py with me.
I’m soaring on high.
That joke flew over your head.
Just winging it today.
Keep your beak out of it.
Sky high expectations.
Crash landing into your DMs.
Glide to meet you.
No need to shout, I have ears.
Taking a flyer on this one.
Bird brain ancestors.
Getting lift off at the party.
Herbivore Humor For The Vegans
Not every dinosaur wants to eat your face. Some of them just want to eat a salad. These jokes are dedicated to the gentle giants who probably would have loved kale.
I’m a herbivore not a herbi-bore.
Leaf me alone.
Just grazing through life.
Salad days are here again.
Don’t have a cow, man.
Green machine energy.
Plant based power.
Veggie might be the answer.
Eat your greens or go extinct.
Fern down for what.
Tree hugger original.
Chew on this for a while.
Just a little snack.
Branch manager of the forest.
Sticking to my roots.
Prehistoric Names For Pets
If you are getting a lizard, a dog, or a child that you secretly hate, here are some names that will guarantee they get bullied on the playground.
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks
Jurassic Bark
Stego-snore-us
Veloci-rapper
Tri-sera-tops
Dino-mo
Rex-y
Spike Lee
Little Foot
Chomp-er
Fossil Phil
Bone-y M
Raptor Jesus
Mega-sore-ass
Bronto-babe
Corny Dinosaur Birthday Jokes
Here is the Q&A section where we pretend to be witty. These are perfect for writing on the back of an envelope because you forgot to buy a card.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A Dino-snore.
How do you invite a dinosaur to a party? Tea-Rex.
What is a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer? Comet.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
What do you call a blind dinosaur’s dog? Do-you-think-he-saurus Rex.
Why don’t dinosaurs drive cars? Because the steering wheels are too far away.
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
What time is it when a dinosaur sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence.
Short Dino Captions for Instagram
You took a picture at a museum or in one of those inflatable costumes. You need a caption. Here are ten options that will get you pity likes.
Feeling pre-historic today. 🦖
Just a T-Rex trying to make a bed. 🛌
Rawr means I love you in dinosaur. ❤️
Life finds a way. 🦕
Here for the fossils and the food. 🦴
Dino party animal. 🎉
Not your average lizard. 🦎
Extinction is optional. ☄️
Living my best Jurassic life. 🌿
Send meteor protection. 😱
A Jurassic Mistake of a Post
We have reached the end of this list and honestly, we are surprised you are still reading. We rate this post 9/10 cringes on the regret scale. If you are still looking for animal puns, go check out something safer like the bees. Or just close the tab. We won’t judge.
The Paleo-Questions
What is the best dinosaur pun for a birthday?
“Hope your birthday is T-Rexcellent” is the classic choice because it requires zero brain cells to understand.
How do you make a dinosaur laugh?
You can’t. They are dead. But if they weren’t, probably a meteor joke.
What do you write in a dinosaur card?
Just write “You are old” and draw a picture of a fossil. It gets the point across.
Are these puns scientifically accurate?
Absolutely not. If a paleontologist read this, they would cry.
Can I use these for a wedding?
Only if you want a divorce immediately after the ceremony.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
