You could be doing anything else right now and could be outside touching grass. You could be learning a valuable trade. But no, you are here, staring at a glowing rectangle, looking for wordplay about compressed wood pulp. We get it. Sometimes reality is boring and you just need a bad joke to dissociate. We have compiled this list, and we are not proud of it. If you hate these Book Title Puns, we honestly don’t blame you.
These jokes are about the physical objects themselves. We know you treat your books better than your own hydration levels. If you prefer hitting balls over reading books, maybe go look at our pickleball jokes instead and leave the nerds alone.
I have absolutely no shelf control when I walk into a bookstore.
My reading list is fully booked for the weekend.
I wanted to buy a book on surgery but it was too hard to open.
That novel was so sad it had me in tiers.
I am reading a book on anti-gravity and it is impossible to put down.
The math book looked sad because it had too many problems.
Do not judge a book by its cover charge.
I tried to read a book on teleportation but it got me nowhere.
That story about the wind was a real page turner.
I got hit by a rental book and it only hurt a little bit.
The librarian got kicked off the plane because it was over booked.
I was going to tell a joke about a blank piece of paper but it was tearable.
Reading in the sun makes me feel red all over.
This mystery novel is really spine tingling.
I asked the book if it was okay and it said I am fine.
Reading Puns For When You Are Booked Solid
Here is the thing about reading. It is mostly just hallucinating while looking at dead trees. If that sounds too intense, you could just go look at otter love puns and look at cute animals instead. But if you are staying, here are jokes about the act of reading.
I like big books and I cannot lie.
My weekend is all booked up.
I am reading a book about mazes and I got lost in the plot.
Can you please take a leaf out of my book?
I totally read your mind just now.
Reading while eating is a bad idea because I always lose my place.
I am not addicted to reading, I can stop chapter one.
You are write on the money with that recommendation.
We need to get on the same page right now.
This book is literature.
I feel the need to read.
Stop reading between the lines.
I have been reading a book on glue and I just cannot stick with it.
I tried to read a book about helium but I could not speak highly of it.
I read a book about Mount Everest and it was a cliff hanger.
Library Puns That Are Overdue For A Laugh
Libraries are quiet places where people go to judge you for your late fees. It is basically a detention center for nerds. If you want something louder, go scream at our bee puns instead. Otherwise, please whisper these jokes.
Librarians are great because they always check you out.
The library is the tallest building because it has so many stories.
I got kicked out of the library for being too loud.
Don’t ask me for money, I am a little short stacked.
That librarian is really good for your circulation.
I have a fine collection of library receipts.
The ghost librarian was too scary for the sheet music.
I am going to the library to find my shelf.
The detective went to the library to solve a mystery.
Librarians are very possessive, they are always shushing people.
I tried to return a book but it was past its due date.
The library police are here to book you.
It is a novel idea to return your books on time.
The librarian was sad because she lost her spine.
The reference section is basically the know it all zone.
Book Lover Puns For The Literati
You people make reading your entire personality. We know. We see your tote bags. If you have a hobby that actually produces something physical, like sweaters, check out our puns about knitting. For the rest of you, here is your validation.
I am a prose at reading quickly.
I like to curl up with a good book and unwind.
My love for books is boundless.
I am really into textual relationships.
You are just my type face.
Let’s taco ’bout books.
I am a book dragon not a book worm.
I have too many books but I have no regrets.
This pile of books is stacktacular.
I am drawn to graphic novels.
My heart belongs to fiction.
I am feeling sentimental about this old paperback.
I am on the edge of my seat reading this.
I would rather be reading thyme.
Reading is my cardio.
Classic Literature Puns To Great Expectations
You forced yourself to read these in high school and now you pretend to enjoy them to look smart at parties. We see right through you. These puns are as old and dusty as the books themselves. It’s almost as tragic as our opossum puns.
Tequila Mockingbird.
The Lord of the Strings.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Scone.
Game of Scones.
Much Ado About Muffin.
East of Eatin’.
Gone with the Win.
Little Women and Men.
Brave New Word.
Fahrenheit 451 degrees of separation.
The Great Catsby.
War and Peas.
Crime and Pun-ishment.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
Of Mice and Men and Puns.
Writing Puns That Are Just The Write Type
Maybe you think you can write a book. You probably can’t. But you can try. It involves a lot of staring at a blinking cursor and crying. Kind of like staring at a bear but less dangerous.
I have the write stuff.
I am suffering from writer’s block of cheese.
The pencil was pointless without a lead.
I am in a font relationship with this typeface.
This draft is a rough diamond.
I will pen you in for later.
The author was a novel person.
I am looking for a plot of land to write on.
The ink ran out so I was speechless.
My keyboard is my instrument.
I am writing a biography about a car mechanic.
The poet was so poor he only had rhyme.
Editors are always cutting in.
I am trying to compose myself.
This sentence is a run on.
Punny Names For Your Book Club
You drink wine and gossip and occasionally read the dust jacket. We know what a “Book Club” really is. Here are some names for your group chat.
The Book Was Better.
Read It and Weep.
Prose Before Bros.
Between the Covers.
Great Sexpectations.
The Grim Readers.
Shelf Indulgence.
Booked for Dinner.
The Novel Ideas.
Lit Happens.
Reading between the Wines.
The Plot Thickeners.
Chapter Chaps.
The Page Turners.
Textual Healing.
Corny Book Dad Jokes
Sometimes you just need a joke that makes everyone in the room groan in unison. These are formatted for your copying pleasure. If you want something squishier, try our frog love puns.
Why did the book join the police? It wanted to go under cover.
Why was the math book always unhappy? Because it had too many problems.
What do you call a book that’s about the brain? A mind reader.
Why did the librarian slip and fall? Because she was in the non-friction section.
What does a librarian take fishing? A book worm.
Why are books so brave? Because they have a spine.
What is a book’s favorite vegetable? Read peppers.
Why did the book go to the hospital? It hurt its binding.
How do books say hello? Read any good books lately?
What did one book say to the other? I just wanted to check you out.
Why did the novel break up with the dictionary? It found it too predictable.
What building has the most stories? The library.
Why was the ghost reading a book? He wanted some book smarts.
What is a snake’s favorite subject? Hisstory.
Why did the bird read a book? To learn how to wing it.
Short Book Captions for Instagram
You need to prove to your followers that you can read. We have crafted these so you can post a picture of your coffee and a book you haven’t opened yet. If you are posting a picture of your pet instead, check out our capybara puns.
My weekend is all booked. 📚
I like big books and I cannot lie. 📖
Just one more chapter I promise. 🌙
DTF… Down To Fiction. 💘
Lost in the stacks. 📚
I have no shelf control. 🛒
Currently reading my life away. 🐛
Sorry I am booked tonight. 🚫
Living that literary life. 🔥
Treat your shelf. 💅
The Final Chapter of Book Pun Regret
You made it to the end. Why? Was it worth it? Probably not. We gave you over a hundred puns about paper and ink. If you are still craving this kind of low-quality entertainment, honestly, that is on you.
Rating of Regret: 9/10 Paper cuts. If you hated this, please share it with your English teacher to annoy them. If you liked it, go seek help or maybe just click on another post.
The Appendix of Answers for Book Lovers
What is the funniest book pun?
The funniest book pun is subjective, but “I have no shelf control” usually gets a pity laugh from people who spend too much money at bookstores.
How do you make a library pun?
You just have to whisper it. Usually, it involves the words “check out,” “fine,” or “overdue.” It is not rocket science, it is library science.
Are these puns suitable for children?
Yes, unfortunately. These are clean jokes that will make your children roll their eyes at you, which is the ultimate goal of parenting.
Can I use these for my book club name?
Please do. “Tequila Mockingbird” is a classic for a reason. It tells everyone you are there for the alcohol, not the analysis.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
