You bought a giant fruit. You carried it home like a weird baby. Now you are staring at it and wondering how to caption the inevitable Instagram photo. We get it. You need content. We have regretfully compiled this list of watermelon puns to help you alienate your friends and family. Please enjoy this sticky mess of wordplay.
📑 The Seed-y List of Contents
Short Watermelon Puns for Short Attention Spans
You are busy. You have a life. You do not have time for long setups. These puns are quick, painless, and perfect for people who just want to scroll past the text.
Summer Watermelon Puns for Hot Days
It is hot outside. You are sweating. The only thing that helps is cold fruit and bad jokes. If you are sitting by the lake or a campfire, these might make the heat bearable. Speaking of outdoors, if you hate these, our lake puns are even worse.
Melon Jokes About Relationships and Love
Nothing says “I love you” like a pun about a gourd. If you are trying to woo someone with these, we cannot be held responsible for the rejection. Maybe try cute fruit puns if these don’t work.
Dramatic Puns for When Life gives you Melons
Sometimes the grocery store fruit is mushy. Sometimes life is hard. These jokes are for those moments when you just want to sigh loudly.
Watermelon Wordplay for Foodies
You eat it. You spit the seeds. It makes a mess. Here are some jokes about the actual act of consuming this giant berry. If you are still hungry, go check out our strawberry captions.
Random Melon Jokes That Make No Sense
We scraped the bottom of the barrel for these. They barely qualify as English. If you laugh at these, you are part of the problem.
Funny Names for Your Pet Watermelon
Did you draw a face on your fruit? Did you name it? That is concerning behavior. Here are some names for your inanimate friend before you eat him.
They do not speak. They roll around. They are good listeners until they rot.
Corny Watermelon Dad Jokes
These are the jokes your father tells at a barbecue while wearing socks with sandals. They are clean, painful, and technically jokes. Use them at work if you want to get fired. We have more clean funny jokes for work if you need more ammo.
Short Watermelon Captions for Instagram
You took the photo. You look tan. The fruit looks bright. Just copy and paste one of these so you can go back to ignoring your surroundings.
The Final Seed-Down
We have reached the end. You have read over 100 puns about a water-logged fruit. We are not sure why you did this, but we appreciate the ad revenue.
Rating of Regret: 9/10 Cringes.
Next Step: Go eat some fruit and apologize to your friends.
The Seed-y Questions
You have questions. We have answers that are only vaguely helpful.
Are watermelons actually berries?
Technically yes. They are berries called pepos. Science is weird and we don’t make the rules.
Can I eat the watermelon seeds?
Yes. You will not grow a watermelon in your stomach. That was a lie your parents told you to make you behave.
How do I pick a good watermelon?
Slap it. If it sounds hollow, it’s good. If it sounds like a rock, put it back. You want the one with the ugly yellow spot.
Why is my watermelon grainy?
It is old. It has given up on life. It is mealy and sad. Do not eat it.
Can dogs eat watermelon?
Yes, but take the seeds out. Do not give your dog a stomach ache. They are good boys.
Is grilled watermelon actually good?
People say it tastes like steak. Those people are lying to themselves. It tastes like hot fruit.
