You need to say thanks. Maybe someone saved your life or maybe they just held the elevator door open for two seconds too long. Either way, saying a genuine “thank you” is hard and awkward. Why be sincere when you can be annoying?
We have compiled a list of puns so bad that the recipient might actually take back their kindness. Whether you are writing a card or sending a text, these puns are the perfect way to ruin a nice moment.
Food is the only thing better than validation. If you cannot afford to buy them dinner, sending a text about dinner is basically the same thing.
I want to say thanks a brunch for everything.
You really are a souper hero in my eyes.
I donut know what I would do without you.
You have a pizza my heart forever.
I appreciate you berry much.
This might sound cheesy but you are grate.
Thanks for being such a gouda friend.
I love you from my head tomatoes.
You look absolutely radishing today.
Thanks for pudding up with my flan.
I am soy happy you are in my life.
You are really egg-stra special to me.
Thanks for being the apple of my eye.
I loaf you more than carbs.
You are one tough cookie to crack.
Animal Gratitude Jokes That Are Paw-sitively Great
Animals are cute but these jokes are not. Use these when you want to thank someone for pet sitting or just for existing near you.
Thank you beary much for the help.
I am otter-ly grateful for your kindness.
You are the bee’s knees.
Thanks for seal-ing the deal for me.
You are turtle-y awesome.
I am not lion when I say you are the best.
Thanks for being my deer friend.
You are toad-ally amazing.
I whale always love you.
You are paws-itively the best human.
Thanks for checking in meow and then.
I fish there were more people like you.
You are the goat of friendship.
Thanks for giving a hoot about me.
You make life im-paw-sible to mess up.
Nature Puns to Say Thanks a Bunch
Plants die but the regret from reading these puns lasts forever. Send these to the person who keeps buying you succulents that you immediately kill.
Thanks a bunch for everything you do.
I am rooting for you always.
You really rose to the occasion.
I will never leaf you hanging.
Thanks for helping me grow.
You are simply iris-istible.
I am frond of you.
Thanks for be-leafing in me.
You are a succulent friend.
I fern-ly believe you are the best.
Thanks for planting the seed of hope.
You make my heart bloom.
I am lichen you a lot.
You are tree-mendous.
Thanks for the thyme and effort.
Beverage Puns to Express Your Brew-tiful Thanks
Caffeine is a personality trait for most of us. If you owe someone a coffee, send them one of these puns instead. It is cheaper.
Thanks a latte for being there.
You are tea-riffic in every way.
I cannot espresso how much you mean to me.
You are soda-lightful to be around.
Thanks for being my cup of tea.
You really stir up good feelings.
I love you a whole latte.
You are brew-tiful inside and out.
Thanks for the matcha appreciated help.
You are soy amazing.
I am bubbling over with gratitude.
You really perk me up.
Thanks for being juice the best.
You are water wonderful friend.
I appreciate you beer-y much.
Office and Work Puns That Barely Work
Work is terrible but having a work bestie makes it bearable. Here are some jokes to send over Slack while you pretend to be productive.
You really excel at being a friend.
Thanks for keeping me on track.
I appreciate your input.
You are a real asset to the team.
Thanks for the memo-ries.
You really click with everyone here.
I am booked on your friendship.
Thanks for checking all the boxes.
You are bold and brilliant.
Thanks for addressing the issue.
You are just my type.
I appreciate the space you give me.
You are font-astic.
Thanks for the shift in perspective.
You really ruled that meeting.
General Object Puns for Random Acts of Kindness
Sometimes you just need a pun about a random object because you ran out of specific categories. Here is the bottom of the barrel.
I am sew glad we are friends.
You really nailed it today.
Thanks for sticking by me like glue.
You light up my life like a lamp.
I am a huge fan of yours.
You hold the key to my success.
Thanks for being a gem.
You really rock.
I wheelie like you.
You are the bomb.
Thanks for being sharp.
You are a cut above the rest.
I am hooked on your kindness.
You really bagged that win.
Thanks for being note-worthy.
Funny Names for Thank You Notes
If you are writing a thank you card, sign it with one of these names. It will confuse your grandmother and annoy your boss.
Justin Case
Barb Dwyer
Terry Cloth
Anna Lytical
Chris P. Bacon
Sal Monella
Tim Burr
Holly Wood
Doug Hole
Bill Board
Barry Cade
Gene Poole
Hazel Nutt
Joy Ride
Kay Oss
Gratitude Jokes & Q&A
Sometimes a pun is not enough and you need a full joke structure to really drive the cringe home.
Why did the yogurt say thank you? It was grate-ful to be cultured.
What did the lettuce say to the celery? Thanks for stalking me.
Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed but thankful for the exposure.
What do you say to a grateful skeleton? Thanks a skele-ton.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer so long.
What did the nose say to the finger? Stop picking on me.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
Appreciation Captions for Social Media
You need to post about how #blessed you are on Instagram. Use these captions to ensure everyone unfollows you immediately.
I am soy grateful for you 🍣
Thanks for being my butter half 🧈
You are one in a melon 🍉
I love you a latte ☕
You are the zest 🍋
Thanks for pudding up with me 🍮
We make a great pear 🍐
You are un-be-leaf-able 🌿
Thanks for being spec-tacular 👓
I am nuts about you 🥜
The Final Thank-You Note
We have reached the end of this gratitude list. If you actually used any of these, we are sorry for the loss of your friendships. Remember that a simple “thank you” works too, but it is way less fun.
Rating: 8/10 Cringes
Verdict: Send these to people you want to annoy.
The Thank-ful Truths
Can I use these puns in a professional email?
You can do whatever you want but HR might have some questions for you later.
Are these puns guaranteed to make people laugh?
No. They are guaranteed to make people groan and possibly leave the room.
How many puns is too many puns?
One is usually too many. This list has over 100 so we are well past the limit.
Do you have any puns about fruit?
Yes. We have puns about everything. We are berry thorough.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
