Look what you made us do. You are here because you either love Taylor or you are trying to annoy someone who does. Honestly, we respect the hustle either way. We have gathered a list of jokes that are arguably worse than the Ticketmaster queue, and for that, we accept full liability.
She has been a country star, a pop icon, and a tortured poet. Here are jokes about the woman who writes better break-up songs than we write grocery lists.
I tried to sew my own clothes, but I am not Taylor made for it.
When the singer runs a race, she moves very Swift-ly.
I asked the seamstress to fix my dress, and she said she would Taylor it Swiftly.
My dog loves pop music, especially when it is Tray-lor Swift.
I bought a new camper for the tour, it is a Trailer Swift.
She decided to become a sailor, now she is Sailor Swift.
If she worked in a prison, she would be Jailer Swift.
When she goes camping, she brings her Trail-or Swift mix.
If she was a carpenter, she would be Nailer Swift.
She opened a burger shop and called it Burger Swift.
If she was a whaler (please don’t cancel us), she would be Whaler Swift.
When she sends a letter, she uses Mailer Swift.
If she was a hay baler, she would be Baler Swift.
She started a landscaping business called Raker Swift.
If she was a pale bucket, she would be Pail-er Swift.
Song Lyric Puns to Shake It Off
We listened to her entire discography to write these, and now we cannot stop crying about our exes from third grade. If you need more emotional damage, check out our heart puns after this.
I baked a cake but I had to Shake It Off the pan.
The baker has a Blank Space where the frosting should be.
I have got a list of names and yours is in Red ink.
This relationship is fragile, like a Cardigan in the wash.
I knew you were Treble when you walked in.
It is a Love Story, baby just say yes to pizza.
We have got Bad Blood (I need a donation).
Call it what you want, but I call it Dinner.
I am the Anti-Hero of this potluck.
Meet me at Midnight for a snack run.
You belong with Me-atball sub.
Everything has changed since I found this Taco place.
Welcome to New Pork (sorry, vegetarians).
I promise that you will never find another Lover like cheese.
This soup is cold as You.
Eras Tour Captions for the Ticketless
Did you get tickets? Neither did we. We are watching the grainy livestreams and making jokes to hide the pain. If you are drinking caffeine to stay awake for the surprise songs, grab some latte puns too.
I am in my Error Era.
This outfit cost more than my Reputation.
Waiting for tickets for Evermore.
I polished up real Nice.
It is a cruel Summer without tickets.
Long live the walls we Crashed through trying to get in.
I had the best day with you, Ticketmaster.
I am feeling 22 dollars in my bank account.
Don’t blame me, Love made me crazy.
Look at this God forsaken line.
Karma is a Cat (and also a ticket fee).
I am drunk in the back of the Car waiting for merch.
Is it over now? No, the Queue is forever.
Speak Now or forever hold your peace about my outfit.
We are never ever getting back Together with my money.
Pop Star Puns for the Charts
She is the music industry. We are just living in it and making terrible jokes about microphones. If you need jokes for other hobbies, maybe try some knitting puns instead of singing.
She tops the Charts and my heart.
Mic check one two, is this Thing on?
She has a Record number of puns.
That performance was Note-worthy.
She really Struck a chord with me.
Don’t be sharp, try to B Flat.
She has the Key to the city.
This song is a major Hit.
I am in Treble for singing too loud.
She creates perfect Harmony in the chaos.
The bass is Dropping like my grades.
She has great Pitch (for a baseball player).
The rhythm is gonna Get you.
She is a Pop tart.
That bridge was Suspenseful.
Funny Names for Swiftie Pets
If you name your cat after a song, does it meow in the key of C? Here are names for your furry friends that will confuse the vet.
Purr-lor Swift
Cat-urday Night
Meow-dnight Rain
Karma the Cat
Doctor Taylor Swift
Paw-sperous One
Bark Space
Growl-lor Swift
Shake It Paw-ff
Fear-leash
Red (The Dog’s Version)
Speak Meow
Ever-meow
Folk-lure
T-Swizzle
Corny Taylor Dad Jokes
These are awful. You are welcome. Use them to annoy your children or silence a room instantly.
Why did Taylor Swift break up with the calendar? Because she wanted to start on New Year’s Day.
What is Taylor Swift’s favorite kind of math? Geometric shapes, because she loves a good angle.
Why did Taylor bring a ladder to the bar?
She heard the drinks were on the high shelf, or maybe she just wanted to get high.
What is Taylor Swift’s favorite salad dressing? Ranch, because she belongs with me.
Why did the thief steal Taylor’s guitar? Because he knew she was trouble when he walked in.
What does Taylor Swift do when she gets cold? She puts on a cardigan.
Why did Taylor Swift go to the eye doctor? She had bad blood in her eye.
What is Taylor’s favorite kind of sugar? Sweet Nothing.
Why did Taylor Swift get kicked out of the haunted house? She kept saying “I knew you were trouble” to the ghosts.
How does Taylor Swift pay for her coffee? With blank checks.
Short Eras Tour Captions for Instagram
You survived the Great War of getting tickets. Now you need a caption that proves you were there.
In my Eras era. 💅
Long live all the magic we made. ✨
Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend. 🌬️
Meet me in the pouring rain. ☔
It’s a love story, baby just say yes. 💍
I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22. 🎂
Best believe I’m still bejeweled. 💎
Draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man. 🔪
This night is sparkling. 🎆
Entering my reputation era. 🐍
The End Game of Puns
We have reached the end. The getaway car is waiting. If you actually read all of these, you deserve a friendship bracelet and a nap. We rate this collection 13/10 on the cringe scale. Go listen to All Too Well (10 Minute Version) and forget this ever happened.
Question…? (Taylor’s Version)
Did Taylor Swift actually write these puns?
No, if she did, they would be number one on Billboard and cost $50 to read.
Can I use these for my Eras Tour sign?
Yes, but security might confiscate it for being too painful to read.
What happens if I tell these jokes to a non-Swiftie?
They will likely leave you. We cannot be held responsible for the breakup.
Is there a pun for every album?
We tried, but honestly, we got lost in the folklore.
Why are there so many cat references?
Have you met Taylor? It is legally required.
Will reading this make me better at singing?
No, but it might make you better at annoying your friends during karaoke.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
