Look, we know why you are here. You have a photo of a California Roll that cost you eighteen dollars and you need a caption that proves you are hilarious. Or maybe you are trying to impress a date with “witty” banter about raw fish. We aren’t here to judge your life choices, but we are definitely judging ourselves for writing this.
This is a safe space for bad decisions. If you thought our Taco Puns were difficult to digest, wait until you get a load of these. We have compiled a list of sushi jokes that are so raw they might just be a health code violation.
Please lower your expectations immediately.
📑 Menu of Sushi Regrets
Funny Sushi Puns That Are Soy Bad
You clicked on this knowing exactly what you were getting into. These jokes are about rice, fish, and the general regret that comes after an all-you-can-eat buffet. It is basically the same feeling as reading our Opossum Puns, but with more sodium.
Sushi Puns Love and Romance
Nothing says “I love you” like a pun about dead fish wrapped in seaweed. If your significant other enjoys these, keep them. If they leave you, honestly, we understand why. It is a similar vibe to our Matcha Puns, just way more savory and slightly more desperate.
Sushi Birthday Puns to Celebrate Another Year of Regret
Birthdays are a great time to remind people they are aging while forcing them to read terrible wordplay. It is arguably worse than our Cheese Birthday Puns, but at least this doesn’t smell like old dairy. Here is how to ruin a card.
Cute Sushi Puns for Your Sticky Situations
Sometimes you just want something adorable to offset the existential dread. These are small, bite-sized jokes that are almost as cute as the creatures in our Otter Love Puns. Almost.
Nigiri Jokes That Stand Alone
Nigiri is just the fish on the rice. No fancy rolls to hide behind. Just raw honesty. It is kind of like our Coffee Dad Jokes unfiltered and likely to give you a headache if you consume too many.
Spicy Wasabi Puns That Burn
If you are the type of person who puts too much green paste on your food and then cries about it, this section is for you. It burns, but in a funny way. Sort of like the aftermath of reading our Dirty Plant Puns.
Sushi Names for Pets That You Will Regret
Naming a pet after food is a classic millennial move. We have seen it all. If you are getting a cat, dog, or even a hamster, consider these names. Or don’t. Your vet will judge you regardless.
Corny Sushi Dad Jokes
If you are a father figure or just possess the energy of someone who wears socks with sandals, these are for you. They follow a simple format, much like our Star Wars Dad Jokes but with fewer lightsabers and more chopsticks.
Short Sushi Captions for Instagram Clout
You have the photo. You look good. The lighting is decent. Now you just need a caption so people know you eat food. Use these to get likes from people you haven’t spoken to since high school. It’s effective, unlike our attempts at Pickleball Jokes.
Closing the Bento Box
We have reached the end. If you read all of those, we are genuinely concerned for your mental well-being. This was a lot of fish content for one sitting. We rate this experience a solid 9/10 cringes. Go drink some water.
The Soy-rious Questions
Since you people ask the internet the weirdest things, here are the answers to the questions you were too embarrassed to ask your waiter.
What is a good pun for sushi?
Miso happy is the gold standard of mediocrity. It is safe, overused, and gets the job done.
What do you say when eating sushi?
Itadakimasu if you are polite. Get in my belly if you are stuck in 2012.
What is a funny quote about sushi?
“I followed my heart and it led me to the sushi bar.” It’s not funny, it’s just sad and true.
How do you make a sushi pun?
Take a word like roll, rice, or soy and force it into a sentence where it doesn’t belong. It is not rocket science.
