Look, we know why you are here. You have a distinct lack of humor in your life and you are trying to fill the void with calcium-rich wordplay. We aren’t judging you, but we are judging ourselves for writing this. If you are looking for jokes about actual body parts with flesh on them, you might want to click away to our Medical Valentine Puns instead. But if you are ready to rattle some cages with jokes that are drier than a tomb, proceed at your own risk.
We are starting with the absolute basics here because we have no shame. These are the kinds of puns that make people sigh loudly and leave the room immediately.
I have a bone to pick with you.
That joke was extremely humerus.
I am absolutely skull-pting a masterpiece here.
Please don’t tell a fibula.
I am just working my fingers to the bone.
This party is really dead.
I can feel it in my bones.
Don’t be such a lazy bones.
I am totally dead serious right now.
You are really getting under my skin, wait, I don’t have any.
That is a vertebrae good idea.
I am going to the body shop.
Let’s have a rattling good time.
He is just a numbskull.
Make no bones about it.
Bone Jokes That Are Bad To The Bone
These jokes are structurally sound but emotionally damaging. If you work in a clinic, these might pair well with our Corny Dentist Jokes because teeth are basically outside bones anyway.
Tibia honest, I think you are great.
I was born to be wild.
Just bury me with my jokes.
Have a skele-ton of fun today.
I need to study for the osteopath test.
That was a grave error.
I am feeling bonely tonight.
Let’s eat, bone appétit.
Have a safe trip, bone voyage.
Everything is going to be oil right, wait, I mean marrow.
Stop acting like a baby, I mean a baby skeleton.
That is a rib-off.
I am a huge fan-tom of yours.
Let’s get this party started… or startled.
I am dying of laughter.
Anatomy Puns For The Skull-duggery
We took a biology class once and failed it, but we remembered enough to write these. If these are too gross, maybe go wash your eyes out with our Clean Funny Jokes for Work.
My favorite instrument is the trom-bone.
I love the sax-a-bone.
This costs an arm and a leg, literally.
I am going to dismember this moment forever.
Keep your chin up, or your mandible.
I put my heart into this, figuratively.
You really have some guts coming here.
Let’s face it, we have no face.
I have got my eye on you… in a jar.
That is hip to be square.
I am acting on a hunch-back.
Give me a spine to call you.
Do not lose your head.
I have a gut feeling about this.
You are just a bag of bones.
Chiropractic Humor For Back-Breaking Laughs
If you have a spine, you probably have back pain. We can’t fix your posture, but we can offer you these terrible puns while you sit there slouched over your phone.
I have got your back.
I am barely holding it together.
That was a cracking good time.
Let’s align our schedules.
Do not get bent out of shape.
You are really twisted.
I need an adjustment in my life.
Stand tall, mostly because you have to.
Don’t look back, unless you can rotate your skull 180 degrees.
I am slightly inclined to agree.
That is a straight up lie.
I feel a bit stiff today.
I am just jointing the club.
Let’s pop over to the store.
You are a pain in the neck.
Spooky Skeleton Wordplay For Halloween
It doesn’t have to be October for you to use these, but it helps if you are currently haunting a house. If you are actually camping in the woods, maybe check our Campfire Jokes instead of scaring yourself.
I am a social butterfly, I mean bat.
Time to coffin up the money.
I am gravely misunderstood.
Let’s creep it real.
I am having a monster time.
You look boo-tiful.
Hey ghoul friend.
I am just here for the boos.
Let’s exorcise our right to party.
I am witch-ing you were here.
That is scary good.
I am haunted by your bad jokes.
Let’s go trick or treating.
Don’t be a fright.
I am afraid not.
Romantic Skeleton Puns For Your Boo
Nothing says “I love you” like reminding your partner of their inevitable mortality. Try these on a first date if you never want a second date.
Will you marrow me?
I love every bone in your body.
You make my heart skip a beat, oh wait, I don’t have one.
I want to jump your bones.
You are drop dead gorgeous.
We are meant to be, or meant to bone.
I am head over heels, literally, my skull fell off.
You are the one for me.
Let’s skull-k around together.
I dig you.
You really rattle my world.
I would die for you, again.
You are my soul mate.
Let’s RIP together.
I love you to death.
Skeleton Names For Pets
If you bought a dog and named it “Spot,” you are boring. If you bought a tarantula or a very skinny cat, consider these names instead.
Napoleon Bone-aparte
Jon Bone Jovi
Jack Marrow
Skully
Bone-yoncé
Spine-feld
Captain Jack
Dry Ryan
Boney Raitt
Verte-brad
Calc-ifer
Rib-ert
Pelvis Presley
Grim
Rattle-snake
Corny Skeleton Dad Jokes
Here is the section where we put the Question and Answer on separate lines so you can read them slowly and realize how much time you are wasting.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with.
What is a skeleton’s favorite song? Bad to the Bone.
Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
What do you call a skeleton who stays out in the snow? A numb-skull.
Why didn’t the skeleton eat the spicy food? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
Why did the skeleton climb a tree? Because a dog was after his bones.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? The sax-a-bone.
How do skeletons call their friends? On the tele-bone.
What do you call a skeleton who lies? A phony bone.
Short Spine Captions for Instagram
You took a picture of a skeleton prop at Target. Good for you. Here are the captions you need to get exactly 12 likes.
Feeling empty inside. 💀
Bad to the bone. 🦴
Just hanging out. ☠️
Totally dead inside. 🖤
No body does it better. 🤷♂️
Rib-tickling fun. 😂
Living the dead life. ⚰️
Waiting for the weekend like… 🕰️
Bone appétit. 🍽️
Send help, or milk. 🥛
The End of the Spine
We have reached the end, out of marrow and our creativity has decomposed. We rate this post a solid 8/10 Cringes. If your eyes aren’t bleeding yet, maybe go check out our Eye Puns to finish the job. Go drink some milk.
Rib-tickling Queries
We asked ourselves these questions because nobody else was talking to us.
Why do we find skeleton jokes funny?
Because they are humerus. We use humor to cope with the crushing reality of mortality. Also, wordplay is easy.
What is the best skeleton pick-up line?
“Hey baby, I’ve got a bone to pick with you… literally.” Actually, never use that. It sounds like a threat.
Are skeletons good at lying?
No, you can see right through them. Transparency is their only virtue.
What do skeletons hate the most?
Dogs. And the wind, because it goes right through them.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
