Look, we know why you are here. You took a picture of a mediocre pepperoni slice, put a filter on it, and now you are staring at your screen trying to find a caption that makes you look clever. We are not here to judge your life choices, but we are here to provide the carb-loaded dad jokes you crave. These jokes are greasy, heavy, and will likely leave you feeling bloated with regret.
📑 Ingredients Of This Pizza Article
Funny Pizza Puns To Top Off Your Day
You cannot buy happiness, but you can buy pizza, and that is basically the same thing according to my therapist. If you are trying to impress a date or just annoy your coworkers, these puns are exactly what you need. And if you prefer food that comes in a shell instead of a box, you might want to look at our taco puns instead.
Cheesy Pizza Puns That Are Gouda Enough To Eat
Cheese is the glue that holds this messy life together. Without it, you are just eating bread with tomato sauce, which is essentially just a sad sandwich. If you really love dairy-based humor, you should probably check out our cheese birthday puns after you finish this slice.
Cute Pizza Puns For Your One True Love
Nothing says “I love you” like a greasy cardboard box on a Friday night. If you are trying to woo someone with carbohydrates, these lines might work. If they do not work, maybe they are more into dessert, in which case you need these donut valentine puns.
Crusty Jokes For People Who Eat The Edges First
The crust is often ignored, much like the terms and conditions on a website. But real pizza lovers know the dough is where the magic happens. If you like things that grow in the dirt before they become toppings, you might enjoy our dirty plant puns.
Mushroom And Pepperoni Puns That Cannot Be Topped
Toppings are the accessories of the food world. Whether you like spicy meats or questionable vegetables, we have jokes for that. If you prefer raw fish over cooked meats, you can awkwardly transition to our sushi puns later.
Delivery Jokes Because You Refuse To Cook
Let us be honest, you are reading this while waiting for the doorbell to ring. Cooking is hard and requires effort that you simply do not possess right now. If you need a drink to go with that order, grab a cup and read our coffee dad jokes.
Italian Inspired Pizza Names For Pets
You adopted a pug and now you need a name that tells the world you have an unhealthy obsession with Italian food. We support this.
Corny Pizza Dad Jokes
These are the jokes your father tells the waiter while you silently wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole. They are bad. They are necessary.
Short Pizza Captions For Instagram Foodies
You need to post that photo before the cheese congeals. Here are some captions that are slightly less embarrassing than “Yum.”
The Last Slice Of This Regrettable Post
We have reached the end. The box is empty, and all that is left are the grease stains and the shame. We hope you found a pun that made you slightly exhale through your nose.
Rating of Regret: 9/10 burnt crusts.
Go do something productive: Or, if you want to procrastinate further, go read about bears eating honey in our bear puns article. It is equally unhelpful.
Extra Topping Inquiries About Pizza
Is pizza a vegetable?
According to the US Congress in 2011, the tomato paste makes it a vegetable. This is why we have trust issues.
Why is pizza round but the box is square?
Because square boxes are cheaper to make and easier to stack. Also, cutting corners is a way of life.
Does pineapple belong on pizza?
We legally cannot answer this without offending 50% of the population. Let us just say it is a fruit salad with cheese.
How long is pizza good for?
Until you eat it. If it has been sitting on the counter for three days, eat it anyway. Your immune system needs a workout.
What is the best way to reheat pizza?
In a skillet. If you use a microwave, you deserve the soggy rubber that results.
