You searched for panda puns, which means your life has hit a very specific, bamboo scented low point. We get it. Sometimes you just need to drop a terrible joke in the group chat and watch everyone groan. So we rounded up the absolute worst, most eye rolling wordplay about everyone’s favorite lazy bear. Grab a snack, lower your standards, and let the cringe begin.
These hefty bears spend half their lives eating and the rest sleeping. Here is some wordplay that requires exactly that level of effort, almost as lazy as our sloth puns.
We are experiencing absolute pandamonium right now.
Stop trying to panda to my emotions.
You really bamboozled me with that trick.
I simply cannot bear the cuteness.
Let us just stick to the bear necessities.
That argument is very black and white.
Having a beary good time hanging out.
Just paws for a second and look at them.
This is an unbearable amount of fluff.
You are absolutely pawsome.
We have a grizzly situation on our hands.
We are opening a Panda box of jokes.
That outfit is looking quite pandastic.
Do not cause a furor over nothing.
You are the beary best friend I have.
Crunchy Bamboo Puns for Your Next Snack Break
Pandas basically eat one thing for their entire lives. Here are some crunchy jokes about their favorite food that rival our absolute worst dirty plant puns.
I am totally bamboozled by this math problem.
You need to shoot for the stars.
Having a stalking good time.
Let us leaf our troubles behind.
You are looking very green today.
Just chew on that thought for a while.
I am rooting for your bamboo business.
That is a hollow promise.
We need to branch out our dietary choices.
Stop being such a sap.
Let us make like a panda and leaf.
You are a real shooting star.
I am totally stalking this cute bear online.
The plot thickens like a bamboo forest.
Let us chew the fat over some leaves.
Unbearably Good Zoo Animal Puns for Your Next Visit
If you are hitting up the enclosures, you will need material. Use these to annoy your friends while you stare at animals doing absolutely nothing, then hit them with our raccoon puns for good measure.
That enclosure is completely koalafied for cuteness.
Do not be an otter disappointment at the zoo.
You are giraffing me crazy with these jokes.
Stop monkeying around the gift shop.
This trip is totally roarsome.
Let us seal the deal on these tickets.
No need to get your feathers ruffled.
You are being completely hippocritical.
That is completely irrelephant to the conversation.
I ain’t lion to you about the ticket prices.
Do not rush the turtles.
Have a toadally awesome time.
I am going to snake my way to the front row.
We are having a whale of a time.
Let us make a swift exit before the crowds arrive.
Absurd Panda Names for Pets or Plushies
Naming things is hard, so we did the heavy lifting for you. Feel free to steal these monikers for your stuffed animals or your very weirdly painted dog.
Beary Potter
Pandamonium
Bamboozler
Sir Chews A Lot
Oreo Speedwagon
Fluff Daddy
Paws McCartney
Black and Whitebeard
Amanda the Panda
Bear Grylls
Pandademic
The Great Bambino
Yin and Yang
Furry Styles
Chubby Checker
Questionable Zoo Animal Puns and Panda Dad Jokes
The format is simple, but the humor is deeply flawed. Prepare to sound like an exhausted father at a petting zoo, right after delivering a solid string of fish dad jokes.
What do you call a bear that changes its mind? A bamboozler.
Why did the panda get fired from his job? He only did the bear minimum.
What is a panda’s favorite spelling rule? Always put it in black and white.
What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear trying to eat bamboo.
Why do pandas like old movies? Because they are in black and white.
How do pandas apologize? They bear their souls.
What is a panda’s favorite cooking tool? A panda.
How do pandas stay cool in summer? They use bear conditioning.
What do you call a singing panda? A bearitone.
Why did the panda cross the road? To get to the bamboo shop.
What is a panda’s favorite breakfast? Pandacakes.
Where do pandas go to dance? The bamboo room.
What do pandas pack in their luggage? The bear necessities.
What do you get when you cross a bear and a pig? A teddy boar.
Why did the bear wear slippers? Because he had bear feet.
Cute Bear Captions for Your Aesthetic Instagram Dumps
You took a photo at the zoo and now you need validation from strangers on the internet. Copy and paste one of these captions to secure those likes.
Living that black and white aesthetic today. 🐼✨
Just doing the bear minimum and feeling great about it. 🐾😴
Fully bamboozled by how cute this guy is. 🎋🥺
Current mood is eating for 14 hours straight. 🌿🐼
Sending you some pawsitive vibes from the zoo. ✌️🐾
Honestly I cannot bear this level of cuteness. 😭🖤
Finding my inner peace and my outer fluff. 🧘♀️🐼
Just a giant fluffball living their best life. ☁️🐾
Keep calm and eat more bamboo. 🎋💚
Feeling absolutely pandastic this weekend. 🎉🐼
The Unbearable End of the Bamboo Trail
Rating of Regret: 9/10 Cringes. If you actually read all of those out loud, you owe your friends a handwritten apology. Go wash your face, rethink your humor choices, and maybe send this link to your group chat to make them suffer too.
Beary Interrogative Panda Queries
Do pandas actually understand puns?
No. They barely understand how to reproduce. Your wordplay is entirely wasted on them.
Are these jokes safe for work?
Legally yes. Socially absolutely not. Drop one in a Zoom meeting and watch your promotion slip away.
Why are panda jokes always about bamboo?
Because they literally eat nothing else. If you want variety, go read our taco puns.
Can I use these on a date?
Only if your goal is to stay single forever. In that case, use as many as possible.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
