Look, we know why you are here. You have a picture of the beach, or maybe you are texting someone you want to annoy, and you need a pun that is so bad it loops back around to being good. We have gathered the wettest, saltiest, and most regrettable wordplay the internet has to offer. We apologize to you, your followers, and the entire ecosystem for what you are about to read.
The ocean is vast, deep, and full of terrors, kind of like the amount of time we spent coming up with these. If you think these are bad, you should see our fish dad jokes which are technically even worse.
I am not shore if I can handle this much water.
Please sea yourself out of this conversation.
I waved hello, but the ocean didn’t wave back.
Stop being so pacific, you are confusing me.
This vacation has my seal of approval.
I am feeling a little nautical and nice today.
Do not get tide down by the small stuff.
I tried to catch the fog but I mist.
The ocean floor is incredibly deep and meaningful.
Are you squidding me right now?
I plan to keep things current on this trip.
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
This view is simply fin-tastic.
Whatever floats your boat is fine by me.
I am honestly just coasting through life right now.
Beach Puns That Are Shore to Please
Sand gets everywhere. It is in your car, your shoes, and probably your soul at this point. If you are planning a trip to the tropics, you might want to check our Hawaii puns for more island cringe, but for now, enjoy the sand.
Life is a beach and then you dry.
I am absolutely sand-tastic today.
Please do not bury your head in the sand.
I need some vitamin sea immediately.
Talk to the sand because the face is busy.
We are having a whale of a time.
This sunburn is a total bummer.
I am burning for you, literally.
Let’s shell-ebrate good times.
Don’t worry, beach happy.
I am drowning in paperwork, take me to the beach.
Feeling a bit salty about leaving.
Resting beach face is my natural state.
You are the only ten-i-see.
Time to tropic like it’s hot.
Seashell Puns You Can’t Clam Up About
Shells are basically tiny houses that creatures carry around until they die and we turn them into jewelry. It is weird if you think about it. It is almost as weird as the relationships in our otter love puns collection.
Why are you being so shell-fish?
I pulled a muscle so I am going to clam up.
That is a hard shell to sell.
I am coming out of my shell tonight.
This situation is absolutely crab-ulous.
Holy carp that is a big shell.
I am not krilling it today.
You really mussel into everything.
Let’s get to the bottom of this ocean.
I am oyster the moon with joy.
That joke was a little fishy.
Stop carping on about the shells.
I am feeling a bit crabby before coffee.
She sells sea shells by the seashore, obviously.
This place is a total dive.
Short Ocean Puns for Short Attention Spans
We know you have the attention span of a goldfish. That is okay. If you get hungry reading these, go look at our sushi puns, but please do not eat the aquarium fish.
Water you doing?
Whale hello there.
I’m hooked.
Call on my shell phone.
Just fishing for compliments.
Totally jelly.
Oh buoy.
Sea ya later.
Water we waiting for?
Shore thing.
Cod help us.
No fin to do.
Kelp me out.
Reef grief.
Shrimply the best.
Ocean Names for Pets That Hate Water
If you bought a goldfish and named it “Nemo,” you are basic. If you bought a dog and want to give it a water name despite it hating baths, use these.
Bark Shark
Chewbacca the Wookiee (Wait, wrong franchise) -> Chewbacca the Water
Gill Gates
Meryl Sheephead
Prawn Mendes
Clammy Davis Jr.
Squid Vicious
Bubbles
Captain Crunch
Tuna Turner
Marlin Brando
James Pond
Sharkira
Sal T. Water
Fin Diesel
Corny Sea Dad Jokes That Flop
These are the jokes your dad tells the waiter at a seafood restaurant while everyone else awkwardly stares at the menu.
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.
What kind of hair does the ocean have? Wavy.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
Where does a killer whale go for braces? The orca-dontist.
What happens when you throw a red rock into the Black Sea? It gets wet.
Why did the crab never share? Because he was shellfish.
Who cleans the bottom of the ocean? A mermaid.
Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
What is a pirate’s favorite letter? You think it’s R, but it be the C.
Sea Puns Captions for Your Thirst Traps
You took a photo of your legs looking like hot dogs in front of the water. Now you need a caption so people know you are deep and mysterious.
High tides and good vibes only. 🌊
I need to be seabilitated. 🏖️
Just a drop in the ocean. 💧
Seeking a porpoise in life. 🐬
Salty but sweet. 🧂
Ocean air, salty hair, do not care. 🌬️
Seas the day. ☀️
I’m really in my element (water). 🧜♀️
Gone coastal. 🚐
Shell yeah. 🐚
The Tide Has Turned on This Post
We have reached the absolute bottom of the barrel. The pressure down here is immense. We hope you found a pun that didn’t make you physically recoil, but we doubt it.
Rating of Regret: 9/10 Cringes.
Next Step: Go drink some water. You are probably dehydrated from all this salt.
The Pacific Specifics
We answer the questions nobody asked because Google told us to.
What is a funny quote about the ocean?
“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.” It is a classic because it is terrible.
What are some short sea quotes?
“Let the sea set you free” or “Salt water cures all wounds.” Mostly used by people who don’t have health insurance.
How do you say hi in mermaid?
You just wave. If they don’t wave back, they are probably just a manatee ignoring you.
What is the best ocean pun?
“I washed up like this.” It implies confidence and a possible shipwreck disaster simultaneously.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
