Look, we know you could be out there actually breathing fresh air or testing the structural integrity of your ankles on a jagged rock. Instead, you are here, scrolling for wordplay that would make a park ranger quit their job. We apologize in advance. Whether you need to ruin a group chat or find a caption for that summit photo where you’re clearly gasping for air, we have the vertical nonsense you require.
📑 A Guide To Your Upward Failure
Climbing Puns For People Who Enjoy Gravity Related Stress
Climbing is just a vertical version of walking where you get to buy more expensive shoes and occasionally develop a fear of heights. Here are some puns to help you cope with the incline.
Nature Jokes To Tell While You Are Lost In The Woods
If you are currently wandering aimlessly past the same pine tree for the third time, these jokes will at least distract you from your lack of navigational skills.
What do you call a mountain that likes to listen to music? An Hill-ton.
Why was the mountain so tired after the hike? Because it peaked too early.
How do mountains stay warm in the winter? They put on their snow caps.
What is the smartest type of mountain? A range of knowledge.
Why are mountains so funny? Because they are hill-arious.
What did the volcano say to its crush? I lava you so much.
How do you find a lost hiker in the mountains? Just look for the person with the most altitude adjustment issues.
Why did the hiker sit on the edge of the cliff? He wanted to have a precipice of mind.
What do you call a group of mountains that aren’t talking to each other? A range of emotions.
What’s the most famous mountain in the world? Mount Everest, because it’s always on top of things.
How do mountains see? They use their peaks.
Why did the trail get arrested? For being too winding.
What did the mountain say to the earthquake? You really crack me up.
How do you get a mountain to stop moving? You use a rock block.
Why did the hiker bring a ladder to the mountain? Because he heard the views were on another level.
Hiking Jokes For When Your Knees Start Making Weird Noises
Hiking is basically just walking where the ground is trying to trip you. If you’ve ever wondered why you pay for this experience, these jokes are for you.
Mountain Names For Pets That Think They Own The House
If your cat or dog acts like they are the highest point in the household, they deserve a name that reflects their unearned sense of grandeur.
Short Summit Captions For Instagram That Mask Your Exhaustion
Use these to convince your followers that you didn’t cry twice on the way up. These are optimized for maximum envy and minimum effort.
The Final Slope Of Your Social Dignity
Rating of Regret: 9/10 Cringes. We are deeply concerned that you read this far, which suggests your oxygen levels might be dangerously low from all that climbing. If you actually enjoyed these, please seek professional help or at least buy a better pair of hiking boots.
Would you like to continue making poor life choices? Check out our other puns before the park rangers catch you.
Answers For The Altitude-Challenged
Is it safe to tell these jokes at high altitudes?
Only if you want everyone in your hiking group to “accidentally” leave you behind at the next switchback. Low oxygen and bad puns are a dangerous combination for social survival.
Why are mountain puns so popular?
Because they have so many layers, just like your thermal underwear. Also, when people are tired from climbing, their standards for humor drop faster than a loose rock in a canyon.
What is the best way to avoid a mountain pun?
Stay in the valley. Once you cross the tree line, the puns become inevitable. It is a natural phenomenon known as “Dad-mospheric Pressure.”
Can mountains actually hear us?
Technically no, but they have “peaks” so they are always listening for the sound of a tourist losing their snacks.
How do I know if I have peaked?
If you find yourself laughing at a joke about a volcano, you have officially reached the summit of bad taste.
