Look, we know why you are here. You saw a picture of a cow with an emo haircut and thought, “I need to make a joke about this.” We aren’t here to judge your life choices, we are just here to enable them. If you are looking for high-brow comedy, please leave immediately. If you want terrible jokes about hairy cows, pull up a chair.
These cows have better hair than most influencers, and frankly, it is insulting. Here is a list of puns to distract you from that jealousy.
I am in a serious moo-d today.
That hair is udder-ly fabulous.
Don’t have a cow, man.
I think we should hoof it out of here.
This is an a-moo-sing situation.
Stop talking, you are milking the atten-shun.
I have got no beef with you.
That is a huge mis-steak.
Let’s go to the moo-vies.
You are looking legen-dairy today.
I am just grazing through life.
Please steer clear of the drama.
That joke was horn-ible.
I am head over hooves for you.
You really know how to raise the steaks.
Scottish Cow Jokes For The Clans
Since these fluff-balls hail from Scotland, we are legally required to make jokes about kilts and bagpipes. We don’t make the rules.
I am feeling a wee bit emo-otional.
Kilt it with that outfit.
Do not get kilt-y as charged.
I am going to the Loch Ness monster mash.
That is Scot to be a joke.
You are the High-lander of my heart.
Let’s have a wee chat.
Don’t be such a bagpipe downer.
I am tartan to like you.
That is braw, just braw.
You are looking bonnie today.
I can’t understand your accent, but I love it.
Let’s go for a haggis run.
I am playing the bag-pipes of peace.
It is a thistle bit funny.
Farm Animal Puns That Are Pasture Bedtime
We can’t just focus on the cows when the rest of the barn is begging for attention. If you like these, you might unfortunately enjoy our bear puns or even our rat puns if your standards are low enough.
The sheep said, “You are baaa-d news.”
The pig was a real boar.
The chicken was a comedi-hen.
The horse is just neigh-borly.
The goat is kidding around.
The duck is a quack up.
The rooster is cocky today.
The donkey is a bit of an ass.
The turkey is gobbling up attention.
The llama is a real drama queen.
The alpaca is packing a punch.
The cat is purr-suasive.
The dog is ruff around the edges.
The goose is honking mad.
The bunny is hop-less.
Hairy Highland Cow Names
If you bought a cow just to name it, we respect the commitment to the bit. Here are names that will make your vet sigh heavily.
Hairy Styles
Cowvin Harris
Moo-lan
Donald Trump (The hair matches)
Ed Sheer-an
Moo-donna
David Hasselhoof
Hugh Heifer
Robert Cow-ney Jr.
Moo-rilyn Monroe
Leonardo Di-Calf-rio
Brad Pit-bull (Wait, wrong animal)
Moo-ana
Sir Loin
Holy Cow
Corny Cow Jokes (Q&A Style)
Here are the jokes your dad will definitely steal for Thanksgiving. If you need more dad energy, go check out our coffee dad jokes or funny snow jokes while you are at it.
Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake.
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull-dozer.
Where do cows go for lunch? The calf-eteria.
What do you call a cow that plays instruments? A moo-sician.
Why did the cow jump over the moon? Because the farmer had cold hands.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Fluffy Cow Captions for Instagram
You took the photo. You filtered it. Now you need a caption so your 400 followers know you went outside.
Felt cute, might eat grass later. 🐮
Just a girl loving her fluffy cows. 🌾
Hair goals. Literally. 💇♀️
Moo-ving up in the world. 🌍
Udderly obsessed with this view. 😍
Sorry, I can’t hear you over my hair volume. 🔊
Just hanging with the herd. 👯♀️
Living my best farm life. 🚜
Steaks are high, but vibes are higher. 🥩
Scottish vibes only. 🏴
We Have Milked This Dry
If you read this far, we owe you an apology. You could have learned a new language or called your mother, but you chose to read puns about Scottish cows. We rate this experience a solid 8/10 on the Regret Scale.
If you are still hungry for punishment, go read our cheese birthday puns and really ruin your day.
Moos and Don’ts
Why are Highland cows so hairy?
They live in Scotland where the weather is consistently miserable. The hair keeps them from freezing into beefsicles.
Can Highland cows see?
Barely. It is like looking through a curtain of shag carpet. They mostly navigate by vibes and the smell of grass.
Are Highland cows friendly?
Generally, yes. They are the golden retrievers of the cattle world, just with bigger horns and more drool.
Do Highland cows have horns?
Yes, both boys and girls have them. It helps them scratch their backs and look intimidating to tourists.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
