Look, we know why you are here. Either your toilet is overflowing and you need a coping mechanism, or you are a plumber looking for material to annoy your apprentice. We don’t judge. Plumbing is a dirty job involving things we would rather not discuss at the dinner table. So we have compiled a list of funny plumber jokes that are guaranteed to make your friends groan louder than old pipes in winter. Grab your wrench and lower your expectations.
We are starting with the basics because we know your attention span is shorter than a PVC pipe off-cut. Dealing with water systems is tough work, and frankly, these puns reflect that struggle. If you are drinking something right now, maybe check out our coffee dad jokes after this, because you are going to need the caffeine to get through these.
Being a plumber is draining work but someone has to do it.
I used to be a plumber but I quit because the work was too exhausting.
My career in plumbing really went down the tubes.
We had a party for the plumbers but it was a total washout.
Never trust a plumber who smokes because they are always looking for a pipe dream.
I was going to be a doctor, but I decided to take the plunge into plumbing instead.
That bathroom remodel cost a fortune, it really soaked me.
Our local plumber is great, he has a very magnetic personality when holding a wrench.
Stop complaining about the leak, just go with the flow.
I asked the plumber to fix the sink, but he just let it sink in for a while.
The water pressure is low, which is really depressing.
I tried to fix the toilet myself, but I just flushed my weekend away.
Plumbers are great at poker because they know a royal flush beats everything.
My sink is broken, and the feeling is overflowing.
It is a tankless task, but the water heater appreciates it.
Mario Plumber Jokes Because It’s A Me
You cannot talk about this trade without mentioning the most famous Italian plumber in history. He stomps on turtles and eats mushrooms, which honestly sounds like a workplace safety violation. If you like Italian themes, you might regret reading our pizza puns later, but for now, let’s focus on the guy in the red hat.
Mario broke up with Peach because he took her for granite.
Luigi is always jealous because he is always second fiddle.
Why did Mario cross the road? To get to the warp pipe.
Bowser is just a misunderstood client with a bad temper.
Mario is the only plumber who jumps for joy when he sees a coin.
I asked Mario to fix my sink, but he said he was in another castle.
Yoshi is the best apprentice because he will eat anything that clogs the drain.
Mario hates the internet because of all the browser history.
Princess Peach is always getting kidnapped, talk about high maintenance.
When Mario retires, he plans to open a mushroom farm.
Donkey Kong threw a barrel at the plumbing, now that is a monkey wrench.
Toad is a fun guy, but he really hates leaks.
Wario is just a plumber who charges double for overtime.
The best video game about plumbing is truly immersive.
Mario does not use a plunger, he uses fireballs to clear the blockage.
Wrench Puns That Tighten The Mood
Tools of the trade are important. Without a wrench, a plumber is just a person staring at a puddle and crying. If you think this is specific, you should see our puns about knitting where we joke about needles. Here are jokes about the things you turn and twist.
This conversation is really throwing a wrench in my plans.
I have to bolt because I have a leak to fix.
Stop being such a tool and help me lift this toilet.
I am nuts about plumbing hardware.
That joke was a little rusty, just like my old pliers.
You really nailed that pipe repair, wait, wrong trade.
I have a grip on the situation, said the vice grips.
Don’t screw this up, we only have one washer left.
That plumber has a lot of torque when he speaks.
I am adjustable to any situation, just like my favorite wrench.
Let’s hammer out the details of this invoice.
I saw what you did there with that pipe cutter.
This job is a snap, said the broken wrench.
Keep drilling until you find the boredom.
I clamp believe you fixed that leak so fast.
Trade Jokes For The Pipe Whisperers
Blue-collar work is tough. It is comparable to the stress found in our funny jokes for nurses, except plumbers deal with slightly different bodily fluids. Here are some generic trade jokes for the people who actually know what a U-bend is.
Electricians are shocking, but plumbers have better connections.
Carpenters are board, but plumbers are always flushed.
Roofers look down on people, but plumbers stay grounded.
Painters are colorful, but plumbers deal with the gray water.
Welders have a spark, but plumbers have the pressure.
HVAC guys are cool, but plumbers are steaming.
Masons get stoned, but plumbers get tanked.
Glaziers are transparent, but plumbers are watertight.
Landscapers are dirty, almost as bad as dirty plant puns, but plumbers see worse.
Mechanics are exhausted, but plumbers are wiped.
Truckers are driven, but plumbers are pumped.
Surveyors plot, but plumbers lay pipe.
Architects draw, but plumbers withdraw the clog.
Engineers calculate, but plumbers estimate.
Contractors promise, but plumbers deliver.
Toilet Humor To Flush Away Boredom
We had to go there. The toilet is the throne of the home. It is where you scroll through your phone and read funny snow jokes in the middle of July for no reason. Here are puns specifically about the porcelain god.
I am on the throne right now, call you back.
That joke was crap, try another one.
Urinal a lot of trouble if you don’t fix that leak.
Don’t get bogged down in the details.
I am feeling flush with cash after that job.
Toilet paper is important, don’t let it roll away.
The toilet seat is up, which is a red flag.
I have to go to the loo, skip to my lou.
This bathroom smells like roses, said no one ever.
The bidet is a splash of genius.
Don’t be a party pooper, fix the handle.
I am wiping the slate clean with this renovation.
That is a shitty situation to be in.
The plunger is the hero we deserve.
Keep the lid down, it is just common scents.
Leaky Jokes That Hold Water
Leaks are the enemy. They ruin floors, ceilings, and bank accounts. They are as annoying as getting a cavity, which reminds us of our corny dentist jokes. Here are puns about drips and drops.
This story leaks like a sieve.
I am just dripping with sarcasm today.
Water you doing about that puddle on the floor?
It is a slippery slope when the pipes burst.
Don’t cry over spilt milk, or water.
The ceiling is crying, it must be emotional.
Put a bucket under it and call it art.
I am soaked to the bone with these bills.
The faucet is crying tears of rust.
A little drip never hurt anyone, said the mold.
Seal the deal before it floods.
I am gushing over this new piping.
Don’t let the secret leak out.
The hose is spraying gossip everywhere.
Water damage is a damp shame.
Funny Plumber Names For Businesses
If you are starting a plumbing business, please do not name it “Smith Plumbing.” That is boring. You need a name that makes people laugh while their basement floods. It is like naming a pet, check out our otter love puns if you need animal names, but for businesses, try these.
The Flush Gordons
Leaky Blinders
Super Mario Bros (Legal issues pending)
The Mold and the Beautiful
H2-Uh-Oh Plumbing
Lord of the Springs
Drains of our Lives
Sink or Swim Services
Down the Hatch Plumbing
Royal Flush Gang
Pipe Down Services
Grate Expectations
Holy Crap Plumbing
Wrench Warfare
The Turd Terminators
Corny Plumber Dad Jokes
You asked for the dad jokes. The ones that make your children leave the room. These are simple, effective, and painfully unfunny. They share a spiritual connection with our star wars dad jokes, mostly because they are forced.
Why did the plumber fall asleep on the job? Because his work was draining.
What do you call a plumber who loves to dance? A tap dancer.
Why do plumbers wear green suspenders? To keep their pants up.
What is a plumber’s favorite vegetable? Leeks.
Why did the plumber get arrested? For plumbing the depths of depravity.
How do plumbers fix a broken tuba? With a tube of glue.
What do plumbers have in common with magicians? They both handle clogs.
Why was the plumber depressed? His career was going down the drain.
What do you call a dream about plumbing? A pipe dream.
Why did the plumber bring a pencil? In case he had to draw a bath.
What is a plumber’s favorite shoe? Clogs.
Did you hear about the psychic plumber? He knew exactly where the leak would be.
Why do Scotsmen make good plumbers? They are great pipers.
What serves a plumber but never eats? A waiter… no wait, a waiter valve.
Why did the faucet break up with the sink? It couldn’t handle the pressure.
Short Plumbing Captions for Instagram
You just fixed a sink and you want the world to know. Or you are just posting a picture of a wrench for some reason. If you need food-related captions later, grab some taco puns, but for now, use these for your messy jobs.
Just go with the flow 🌊
Living the pipe dream 💤
Don’t get it twisted 🔧
Feeling flushed today 🚽
Under a lot of pressure 💧
I’m just here to lay some pipe 🏠
No job is too deep for me 🛁
Keep calm and call the plumber 📞
Fixing leaks and taking names 📝
Every flush is a fresh start ✨
The Final Flush
We are done. We have scraped the bottom of the septic tank for these jokes. If you are still reading, we are concerned for your wellbeing.
Rating of Regret: 9/10 Clogged Drains. If you hated this, please share it with your landlord to annoy them.
The Pipe-ing Hot Queries
We answer the questions you were too afraid to ask your plumber because they charge by the hour.
Why do plumbers charge so much?
Because they are the only ones willing to touch what you just flushed. It is hazard pay combined with a knowledge of physics.
Do plumbers actually like Mario?
Most find him unrealistic. You cannot fix a leak by jumping on a turtle, although it would be cheaper than buying copper pipe.
What is the “Plumber’s Crack”?
It is an ancient ventilation technique passed down through generations. Do not stare directly at it.
Can I flush wipes down the toilet?
Sure, if you want to pay for a plumber’s next vacation. Just because it says “flushable” does not mean it is a good idea.
Is plumbing hard to learn?
There are only two things you need to know, water flows downhill and payday is on Friday.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
