Look, we know why you are here. You have a captive audience, probably trapped on a boat or stuck near a tank, and you need to inflict maximum psychological damage via wordplay. We don’t judge you, but we do pity your friends.
These jokes smell worse than a bucket of bait left in the sun for three days. Whether you need material for your next angling trip or just want to annoy your spouse while eating sushi, we have collected the absolute worst fish dad jokes on the internet. Please lower your expectations immediately.
Funny Fishing Jokes That Will Hook You Immediately
You bought the rod, bought the expensive vest. You stood in the water for four hours and caught nothing but a cold. Since you have no fish to show for your efforts, you might as well have some puns.
I am absolutely hooked on you.
This relationship is o-fish-al.
Don’t be such a pain in the bass.
We really need to scale back on the fish puns.
It is time to cast away your doubts.
I feel like a fish out of water.
That fisherman is so stingy because he is shellfish.
Let’s make this party reel fun.
I am waiting with baited breath.
You are a catch, do not let anyone trout you.
Stop carping on about the past.
I’m just fishing for compliments.
This situation is a bit fishy.
Keep it reel or go home.
I rod to believe you were coming.
Bass Fishing Jokes For The Freshwater Fanatics
Bass fishermen are a different breed. They take themselves very seriously, which makes it even funnier when you ruin their silence with terrible wordplay. If you are out on the lake, watch out for bears (and if you see one, check our Bear Puns), but mostly watch out for these jokes.
It is all about that bass, no treble.
Don’t be a dumb bass.
I threw it back because it was just bass-ic.
He plays the guitar, but he prefers the bass.
That fish has a lot of class.
I asked the fish for help because I was floundering.
You are looking very so-fish-ticated.
Kick his bass!
I caught a fish that loves to play bass-ketball.
He is the master of the bait.
Let’s drop the bass.
I am in a sea of confusion.
That catch was absolutely bass-tastic.
He got arrested for assault and batter-y.
Only a moron would use that lure.
Trout Puns That Are Swimming Upstream
Trout are slippery little things that require patience and finesse. These puns require neither of those things. If you are standing waist-deep in a river, try shouting these at the nature enthusiasts nearby. If you see an otter stealing your catch, we have Otter Love Puns to help you cope with the theft.
Get the heck trout of here.
I have absolutely no trout about it.
Twist and trout.
Give me a shout if you catch a trout.
Don’t pout, catch a trout.
I am rainbow trout of ideas.
Something smells a little fishy around here.
We should mullet over before deciding.
This is a load of carp.
Holy mackerel that is a big one.
Stop being such a guppy.
I am feeling a little eel today.
That is a bunch of pollocks.
Let’s tackle this problem together.
I am fin-ished with this conversation.
Tropical Fish Humor For Ocean Lovers
Whether you are snorkeling in Hawaii (grab some Hawaii Puns while you are there) or just looking at a saltwater tank, tropical fish are beautiful. Our jokes about them are ugly.
That clownfish is really funny.
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I am having a whale of a time.
Don’t be such a crab.
Are you squid-ing me?
I accidentally porpoise-ly did that.
That shark is jaw-some.
I’m feeling a little blue tang.
Life’s a beach then you dive.
Seas the day.
I need some vitamin sea.
Let’s shell-ebrate good times.
You are shrimply the best.
I am not lion fish to you.
Check out my mussel beach bod.
Sushi and Food Related Fish Gags
If you aren’t catching them, you are probably eating them. We apologize to the fish, but they taste delicious. If you are specifically eating raw fish, please consult our dedicated Sushi Puns section, but here are some cooked variations.
I am on a see food diet, I sea food and I eat it.
This tastes like shrimp heaven.
Cod I borrow some fry?
You are the soy to my world.
Don’t be salty.
I tried to organize a party but I couldn’t plan-et.
This fish is roast-ed.
Pass the tuna, sooner.
I love you from my head tomatoes (oops, wrong food, check Taco Puns).
We go together like fish and chips.
This meal is fin-tastic.
Let’s get fried tonight.
You are my lobster (wait, crabs?).
Holy crab, this is good.
Don’t be so clam-my.
Aquarium and Pet Fish Wordplay
Goldfish have a three-second memory, which is lucky for them because they won’t remember how bad these jokes are. Here is what to say to your lonely Beta fish.
Thanks for the tanks.
You are gold to me.
I’m just a little beta than you.
Water you doing?
Stop carp-ing the diem.
I’m feelin’ gill-ty.
Just keep swimming.
My tank is clean, said no one ever.
I’m a succer for you (pleco).
That is some fin else.
Don’t tap on the glass.
Bubbles are my best friends.
I’ve got algae problems.
School is in session.
You are glowing like a tetra.
Fin-tastic Names For Your Scaly Friends
You bought a fish. Now you have to name it something embarrassing so your guests have to say it out loud. We have provided the ammunition.
James Pond
Gill Clinton
Sharkira
Marlin Brando
Anne Hatho-whale
Fishy McFishface
Gourami Salami
Betta Midler
Cod Stewart
Leonardo DiCapri-roe
Salmon Cowell
Tuna Turner
Guppy Goldberg
Swim Shady
Anchovy Hopkins
Corny Fish Dad Jokes
These are the jokes you tell when you want the room to go silent. If you deliver these correctly, someone should audibly groan.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
How do you tune a fish? You can’t tune a fish but you can tuna piano.
What is a fish’s favorite instrument? The bass guitar.
Where do fish keep their money? In the river bank.
Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? So-fish-ticated.
Why do fish never do well in school? Because they are always below sea level.
What is the most expensive fish? The Goldfish.
How do fish get around? They take the octobus.
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much? A beer-acuda.
Why don’t fish play tennis? Because they are afraid of the net.
What movie do fish love the most? The Codfather.
Who do fish pray to? Cod.
What happens when you cross a banker with a fish? A loan shark.
Short Fish Captions for Instagram
You caught the fish. You took the selfie. Now you need a caption that proves you are hilarious.
Reeling in the good times. 🎣
Sorry for what I said when I wasn’t fishing. 🐟
Just for the halibut. 🤷♂️
Hooked on this view. 🌊
Keep it reel. 🐠
Fish tremble at my name. 🦈
Born to fish, forced to work. 🐡
Carp-e Diem. 🌅
Part time fisherman, full time liar. 🤥
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I caught this one. 🦞
The End of the Line
We have reached the bottom of the barrel. If you actually read all of these, we owe you a personal apology. We rate this collection a solid 9/10 Cringes.
If you are still hungry for punishment, or perhaps something equally wet and annoying, go check out our Funny Snow Jokes or wash this taste out of your mouth with some Coffee Dad Jokes.
The Gill-ty Questions
What do you call a fish that practices medicine?
A Sturgeon. It takes a lot of school to get there.
Why are fish so easy to weigh?
Because they have their own scales. It is basic biology.
Can fish go on vacation?
Yes, they love Finland. It is very cold but the water is nice.
What is a fish’s favorite show?
Name that Tuna. It was a classic game show.
How do you communicate with a fish?
You drop them a line. Just don’t expect a text back.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
