Look, we know why you are here. You bought a dozen donuts for your partner because you forgot to make a reservation, and now you need a card that says something funnier than “Happy Valentine’s Day.” “Donut valentine puns” We apologize in advance for the absolute sugar crash of cringe you are about to witness. These puns are bad for your health, terrible for your reputation, and exactly what you were looking for. Let’s get this over with before the glaze melts.
The Sweetest Donut Valentine Puns to Ruin the Mood
We are starting strong with the heavy hitters. These are the kinds of puns you write on a card when you want your significant other to groan audibly and question their life choices. If you pair these with a strong cup of joe (check our coffee dad jokes for backup), you might just survive the morning.
I donut know what I would do without you.
You donut know how much I love you.
I like you a hole lot.
You complete me. Literally, you fill the hole in my heart.
Please donut go breaking my heart.
We are a match made in heaven, or at least the bakery.
I am absolutely glazed over you.
You are the sprinkles to my life.
I am jelly of anyone who doesn’t have you.
You mean a hole lot to me, Valentine.
I cruller lot about you.
Let’s never split, like a banana cream.
You are my jam.
I love you dough much.
We go together like coffee and donuts.
Sticky Donut Puns Love and Affection
Sometimes you need to express your feelings without sounding like a Hallmark card written by a robot. These puns stick to the ribs of romance, mostly because they are incredibly cheesy. If you want something even cheesier, maybe pivot to our cheese birthday puns, but for now, let’s stick to the fryer.
You really drive me glazy.
I am nuts about you (and donuts).
Our love is un-beat-able, just like this batter.
I a-dough you, seriously.
You are the sweetest thing in the bakery case.
My love for you is infinite, like a circle.
You bake me crazy.
I have filled with love for you.
Let’s grow old and moldy together. Wait, wrong food group.
You are berry special to me.
I’m fondue of you… wait, that’s cheese again. I mean fondant? No, glaze.
You are my sugar rush.
I loaf you… sorry, that is bread, but close enough.
You are my main squeeze (jelly).
I am stuck on you like sticky glaze.
Cute Donut Puns for Your Little Sprinkles
These are for when you want to be adorable rather than suggestive. Perfect for friends, kids, or that coworker you are trying not to offend while giving them a pity pastry. They are almost as cute as our otter love puns, but with more carbohydrates.
Donut worry, be happy.
Have a dough-lightful Valentine’s Day.
You are pretty sweet.
Sending you holes of love.
You are the boss of the gloss.
Sprinkling you with love.
You are a keeper, unlike the last donut in the box.
I think you are fan-tastic.
You are looking sharp (actually, please don’t touch the knives).
Let’s hang out and eat donuts.
You are tops in my book.
Have a ball this Valentine’s Day.
You are my best bud.
Thanks for being you (and buying me food).
You take the cake (donut).
Funny Donut Jokes That Are Actually Terrible
If the puns above weren’t painful enough, here are some jokes that rely on wordplay so thin you can see right through it. Use these if you are trying to annoy your spouse into silence so you can eat their share of the box. If they get mad, distract them with bear puns and run away.
What kind of donut flies? A plane donut.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? To get a filling.
What is the best way to talk to a donut? Feast to feast.
Why did the donut stop talking to the cruller? It just didn’t like his twist.
What happened to the donut who played golf? He got a hole in one.
Why do donuts hate their jobs? Because they always feel fried.
What is a donut’s favorite drink? Whole milk.
Why did the donut go to the gym? To get better glutes (gluten).
What do you call a cute donut? A-dough-rable.
Why are donuts bad at keeping secrets? Because they have big holes in their stories.
What does a donut wear to a wedding? A tux-dough.
Why did the baker quit? He was tired of the hole business.
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week? Fry-day.
Where do donuts go on vacation? The Glaze-ier National Park.
What do you call a religious donut? Holy.
A Donut Birthday Pun or Two for the Feb 14th Babies
Some people are unlucky enough to have their birthday on Valentine’s Day, which means they get one gift instead of two. We can’t fix that injustice, but we can offer these puns. If they hate donuts (weirdo), maybe try sushi puns instead.
Hope your birthday is sprinkled with joy.
Have a jam-packed birthday!
Go nuts it’s your birthday.
Eat, drink, and be berry happy.
Another year older, another year sweeter.
Donut count the calories, count the memories.
Hope your day is filled with fun.
You take the cake (donut).
Time to glaze over the fact that you are aging.
Have a hole lot of fun today.
You are not old, you are just seasoned (glazed).
Let’s toast to you (with donuts).
Party your buns off.
It’s time to rise and party.
Have a sugar-coated birthday.
Glazed Nicknames for Your Significant Otter
If you are tired of calling your partner “babe” or “honey,” try these donut-inspired pet names. They are guaranteed to make them cringe, which is basically our love language here. Speaking of strange animals, these pair well with our opossum puns if your partner is a bit trashy but cute.
Sugar Lips
Honey Glaze
Little Fritter
Jelly Belly (Use with caution)
Sprinkle
Sweet Dough
Cinnamon Bun
Munchkin
Cream Puff
Bear Claw
Sugar Ring
Twist
Cocoa Puff
Powder Puff
Boston Cream
Corny Donut Dad Jokes
You asked for the dad jokes, and we are delivering them in the cleanest format possible. No fluff, just the question and the punchline that will make your kids leave the room. If you need something more sophisticated, try our matcha puns for a green tea twist.
Why did the donut visit a psychiatrist? Because he felt empty inside.
What kind of nuts have no shells? Donuts.
Why did the donut go to the doctor? He was feeling crumb-y.
What is the only thing a donut worries about? Its waistline.
Why did the donut get arrested? For stealing the spotlight.
What do you call a weird donut? A weird-dough.
How do donuts say goodbye? See you later, batter.
What do you call a donut that breathes fire? A glaze-on (dragon).
Why was the donut sad? It lost its sprinkles.
What is a donut’s favorite nut? Dough-nuts.
Why did the donut go to school? To become a smartie pants.
What do you call a donut in space? An astro-nut.
Why did the donut cross the road? To get to the bakery.
What is a donut’s favorite song? Donut Stop Believin’.
What do you call a group of musical donuts? A jam band.
Short Donut Captions for Instagram
You took a photo of your $18 artisan donut. You need a caption that proves you are funny and relatable, even though you just spent $18 on fried dough. If you are reading book title puns while eating, you are living the dream.
Donut kill my vibe. 🍩
Love at first bite. ❤️
Will run for donuts. 🏃♀️
Glazed and confused. 😵💫
Donut judge me. 🤫
Sprinkle a little kindness. ✨
Life is short, eat the donut. ⏳
But first, donuts. ☕
You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy donuts. 💵
Abs are cool, but have you tried donuts? 🏋️♀️
The Sugar Crash Conclusion
We have reached the end of the donut valentine puns lines. If you actually read all of these, we rate your boredom level at a solid 9/10 cringes. You now have enough ammunition to annoy your Valentine until next February. Go forth, eat the fried dough, and regret it later.
Frequently Asked Glazy Questions
We know you have questions that keep you up at night. Here are the answers you didn’t ask for but are getting anyway.
Is a donut a sandwich?
No, and if you think it is, you need to leave. A sandwich requires two separate pieces of bread. A donut is a singular ring of joy.
Why do donuts have holes?
To cook evenly, apparently. But we prefer to think it’s so you can wear them as rings before you eat them.
Can I eat donuts on a diet?
You can do anything if you believe in yourself. But your trainer will probably cry.
What is the difference between a donut and a bagel?
One is a sugary treat for the soul, and the other is just sad, boiled bread that screams for cream cheese.
Do donuts expire?
Technically yes, but they usually disappear within 15 minutes of opening the box, so it’s a non-issue.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
