Welcome to the waiting room of comedy. It smells like latex and fear in here. If you are looking for corny dentist jokes to distract yourself from an impending root canal, you have come to the right place. We are sorry about the plaque build-up in these paragraphs, but we promise this will be less painful than getting your wisdom teeth yanked out. Let’s get this check-up over with so you can go back to forgetting to floss.
Dentists spend all day looking into gaping maws and asking questions you can’t answer. To honor their awkward social skills, we have compiled these puns. They are perfect for anyone who needs a laugh or just wants to annoy a hygienist. If you enjoy medical humor, you might also regret reading our collection of funny jokes for nurses.
I went to the dentist and he said I needed a crown, so I asked for a tiara.
The dentist was arrested for dealing drugs because he got caught with a pot filling.
My dentist has a TV on the ceiling so I can Netflix and drill.
I have a crush on my dentist because he is exceedingly flossy.
Be kind to your dentist because he has fillings too.
The toothbrush said to the toothpaste that he would see him in a squeeze.
We call our dentist the king because he specializes in crowns.
I hate going to the dentist because I always feel down in the mouth.
The dentist asked me to open up but I told him I wasn’t ready to share my emotions.
I told the dentist my teeth were yellow and he told me to wear a brown tie.
Dentists are great at solving problems because they get to the root of the matter.
If you want to be a dentist you have to be very picky.
My dentist just asked for a date, but I think he just meant the fruit.
The new dentist is very popular because the word of mouth is great.
I saw a dentist fighting a manicurist and they fought tooth and nail.
White And Pearly Teeth Puns To Chew On
Teeth are just weird little bones that live outside your skeleton and demand constant attention. It is a design flaw if you ask us. Here are some jokes about your molars that are almost as bad as the stains you get from drinking too much java. Speaking of which, check out these coffee dad jokes after you brush.
The tooth asked the other tooth if he was telling the tooth.
A tooth that has no money is definitely broke.
When the tooth got a job he was very incisor about it.
The wisdom tooth was sad because he felt like he was being pushed out.
Vampires are known to be very long in the tooth.
I told my teeth to get dressed because they were baring it all.
The tooth went to the library to brush up on his wisdom.
False teeth are like stars because they come out at night.
Baby teeth are so cute before they fall out and become a gap.
My front teeth and I are best friends because we are always together.
The molar was arrested for biting off more than he could chew.
The loose tooth was worried about losing his job.
Gold teeth are always the center of attraction.
Buck teeth are just teeth that are trying to escape.
The canine tooth is a dog’s best friend.
Dental Dad Jokes That Need A Brace
These are the specific jokes your father tells while the dental assistant is trying to put that plastic thing in his mouth for X-rays. They are uncomfortable, unavoidable, and slightly tragic.
The dentist’s favorite time of day is tooth-hurty.
I received an award for having the best teeth and it was a plaque.
The snowman went to the dentist because he had frostbite.
The computer went to the dentist to check his Bluetooth.
The lawyer went to the dentist to get a retainer.
A bear with no teeth is just a gummy bear.
The dentist told the joke but nobody laughed because it was too impacted.
The Buddhist monk refused the Novocaine because he wanted to transcend dental medication.
Dentists hate it when you get lunch at the taco truck because they dislike taco breath. (See: taco puns)
The deer needed braces for his buck teeth.
The king went to the dentist to get a new crown.
My dentist drives a Ferrari because he makes a lot of money.
The spooky dentist cleans the teeth of ghosts.
I got kicked out of the dentist office for gumming up the works.
The astronaut went to the dentist for a moon filling.
Root Canal And Filling Puns That Hurt
Pain is funny when it is happening to someone else or when you are paying thousands of dollars for it. Here are some puns about the procedures that make your wallet cry.
The root canal was a numbing experience.
I got a filling and now I feel whole again.
The extraction was a pulling experience.
I needed a bridge so I just bought a toll booth.
The dentist took an X-ray and saw right through me.
I got gas at the dentist and it was a laughing matter.
The drill was so loud it was boring.
I asked for Novocaine but they gave me a bill instead.
The hygienist is great at scaling back the plaque.
I had a deep cleaning and now I am in deep trouble.
The implant was expensive but it filled the void.
My gums are receding because they are shy about the future.
The veneer was just a cover up for the truth.
I bit the dentist’s finger and got a taste of my own medicine.
The anesthesia wore off and reality bit me.
Hilarious Dentist Names For Your Practice
If you are going to open a fake dental practice in your garage, you need a name that instills zero confidence. Here are some options that we brainstormed instead of doing actual work.
Phil McCavity
Dr. Payne
Ginger Vitis
Les Plaque
Ben Drill
Dr. Yankum
Justin Case
Pearl E. Whites
Ruth Canal
Harry Gumms
Moe Lars
D. Kay
Dr. Ake
Flossie Daily
Brace Yourselves
Q&A Funny Tooth Jokes For The Chair
These jokes follow a strict Question and Answer format. We recommend reading these to your dentist while his hands are in your mouth. He will love it. If you have a sweet tooth that caused these issues, you might relate to our donut valentine puns.
What does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque
Why did the smartphone go to the dentist? It had a Bluetooth problem
What did the dentist see at the North Pole? A molar bear
How are false teeth like stars? They come out at night
What game do dentist kids play? Caps and robbers
Why did the king go to the dentist? To get his teeth crowned
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear
What is a dentist’s favorite movie? Plaque to the Future
Why did the doughnut go to the dentist? He needed a filling
What does a dentist call an astronaut’s cavity? A black hole
Why did the tree go to the dentist? To get a root canal
What kind of tea do you drink at the dentist? Numb tea
Why did the marshmallows go to the dentist? Because they were sweet
What is a dentist’s office favorite dinosaur? The Flossiraptor
Why do dentists like potatoes? Because they are tuber-cular
Short Dentist Captions For Instagram
You look absolutely ridiculous with that bib on and your mouth numb. Naturally, you need to post that content for the world to see.
My dentist told me I need a crown, I was like I know, right? 👑
Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you. 🦷
Just here for the free toothbrush and the pain. 🪥
Love conquers all things except a toothache. 💔
I have fillings for you. 😉
Brace yourself, the smile is under construction. 🚧
Smile while you still have teeth. 😁
Going to the dentist is my favorite tooth-hurty activity. ⏰
Numb faces and happy places. 🥴
Floss like a boss. 😎
The Appointment Is Over
We have reached the end of this oral hygiene disaster, hope these jokes numbed your brain enough to forget about the sound of the drill. We give this post a rating of 9/10 Cringes. Please remember to spit and not swallow the fluoride. Go book your appointment, you coward.
The Molar Questions
Here are some questions people actually ask, answered with the sarcasm they deserve.
Why are dentists always so happy?
Because they know the drill and they are making money every time you forget to floss.
Can I tell jokes to my dentist?
You can, but remember he is the one holding sharp objects near your tongue. Proceed with caution.
Is it safe to DIY my dentistry?
Only if you enjoy pain, infection, and looking like a jack-o-lantern in July. Please do not do that.
Why is the toothpaste always mint?
Because “bacon flavor” tested poorly in focus groups, though we would totally buy it.
Do dentists judge my bad breath?
Yes, absolutely. They talk about it in the break room while eating salad.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
