Look, we know why you are here. You have a pile of laundry staring at you like a sleep paralysis demon, and instead of folding it, you are searching for jokes about cleaning. We respect the procrastination. Honestly, we are procrastinating writing this intro right now. But since you are already avoiding your chores, we might as well provide some cleaning puns that are so bad they might actually motivate you to go scrub a toilet just to make the pain stop.
Welcome to the mess. You have a house that needs cleaning and we have a list of jokes that barely qualify as humor. It is a match made in a dusty heaven. These housekeeping puns are perfect for when you want to complain about chores without actually doing them.
I broke up with my vacuum because it was just gathering dust.
My room is not messy, it is just under rest-oration.
I wanted to be a maid, but I just could not hack it.
When the house is clean, I feel like I have a new lease on life.
I told my messy roommate to clean up, but they just brushed me off.
Cleaning the house is a chore subject for me right now.
I am totally floored by how dirty this kitchen got.
We need to clear the air, things are getting a little dusty.
I had a specialized joke about a clean window, but the delivery was a little pane-ful.
Doing chores makes me feel like I am washing my life away.
I do not always clean, but when I do, I make a clean getaway.
This mess is litter-ally killing my vibe.
I tried to organize my closet, but it was just a hanger on.
My cleaning skills are a little rusty, just like my sink.
Stop moping around and help me clean this floor.
Broom Jokes That Will Sweep You Off Your Feet
Brooms are weird. It is a stick with hair on it that you push around the floor. If you think about it too hard, it gets gross. Anyway, here are some broom jokes that we found in the corner of the internet.
I am sweeping the nation with these terrible bristles.
That witch was late for work because she over-swept.
My broom and I are having a brush with destiny.
I decided to turn over a new leaf and sweep the porch.
Don’t just stand there, make yourself use-full and grab a broom.
I am just trying to handle my responsibilities.
This dirt is extremely stubborn, it refuses to stick to the plan.
I sweep when I am stressed, it is my coping mechanism.
We really need to stick together to get this room clean.
The janitor was fired because he could not handle the pressure.
I am not a fan of sweeping, I prefer to brush past it.
That dust bunny looks like it is ready to hop away.
Sweeping is easy if you have the right attitude.
I swept the floor and missed a spot, talk about a missed-steak.
Get a grip on that handle and get to work.
Laundry Puns That Are Loads of Fun
If you enjoy laundry, you are lying. Nobody enjoys laundry. It is the only chore that regenerates the second you finish it. To ease the suffering of folding fitted sheets, here are some jokes about the never-ending cycle of washing clothes. Also, if you find something weird in your pockets, check out our Skeleton Puns for things found in closets.
I have loads of things to do today.
I am feeling a little agitated by this washing machine.
Don’t worry, it will all come out in the wash.
I would tell you a laundry joke, but it is too dry.
My socks are single and ready to mingle.
I am ready to fold under all this pressure.
That shirt is really pressing my buttons.
I felt bad for the clothes, they looked really depressed.
Ironing is the opposite of my favorite hobby, which is wrinkling.
I tried to sort my whites, but everything faded to gray.
This laundry pile is absolutely stacking up.
I am spinning out of control with these chores.
Can you hang out while I finish drying these?
I have a soft spot for fabric softener.
This stain is really setting me off.
Kitchen Cleaning Jokes That Are Sink or Swim
The kitchen is where dreams go to die under a pile of dirty lasagna pans. If you are scrubbing grease off a stove right now, we salute you. Also, if you are cleaning up after a gardening mishap, you might like our Dirty Plant Puns.
I am sinking fast with all these dishes.
It is time to throw in the towel on this cleanup.
This kitchen is a mess-terpiece of disaster.
I am going to wipe the smile off that plate.
Let’s get straight to the point with this knife scrubbing.
I am really feeling the burn scrubbing this oven.
Don’t be so abrasive, pass the sponge.
I am on the edge with this counter cleanup.
This grease is really sticking to its guns.
I pan-ic every time I see the sink full.
Let’s dish out some punishment to this grime.
I am soap-ing for a miracle here.
This fridge smells like something died, it is grave.
I am totally drained after washing all that.
Let that sink in for a minute.
Vacuum Puns That Do Not Suck
Vacuums are loud, heavy, and scare pets. They are essentially the bullies of the cleaning world. But we need them, so we might as well make jokes about them. If you are vacuuming at work, you should probably just read our Clean Funny Jokes for Work instead.
This vacuum really sucks in the best way.
Nature abhors a vacuum, but my carpet loves it.
I am just trying to fill the void in my life with cleanliness.
I got a robot vacuum and now my life is on auto-pilot.
My dog hates the vacuum, it is a pet peeve.
I am dying to get this carpet clean.
This cord is really tripping me up.
I am gathering my thoughts and my dust.
The suction on this thing is breathtaking.
I am wheely tired of pushing this thing around.
Don’t get bagged down by the details.
I have to plug away at this rug.
This machine is creating quite a stir.
I am totally exhausted from the filter fumes.
Let’s roll out and clean the living room.
Toilet and Bathroom Puns for a Flush of Genius
We saved the grossest room for last. Cleaning the bathroom is a humbling experience that nobody talks about enough. If you encounter a clog while reading this, please put the phone down and call a professional, or just laugh at our Funny Plumber Jokes.
I am absolutely flushed with pride after scrubbing that.
This bathroom is looking porcelain perfect.
Don’t mean to stall, but I hate cleaning the shower.
I am wiping the slate clean in here.
This tub scrub is totally draining me.
I am feeling showered with praise for this cleanup.
Let’s not get bogged down in the details.
I have to sink really low to clean behind the toilet.
This mirror is looking very reflect-ive today.
I am on a roll with the toilet paper organization.
Soap scum is my public enemy number one.
I am bubbling over with excitement to be done.
This tile grout is truly grate.
Don’t get pissy, just scrub the floor.
I am waiting for the plunge to happen.
Funny Names for Your Roomba or Cleaning Supplies
You are going to be spending a lot of time with these objects, so you might as well name them. If you treat your Roomba like a pet, you are our kind of weirdo.
Mop-rah Winfrey
The Dustinator
Clean Elizabeth II
Broom-hilda
Sir Scrubs-a-Lot
The Grim Sweeper
Sweepy McSweepface
Dustin Beaver
Hairy Styles (The Broom)
Optimus Grime
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Lord of the Rings (The Toilet Brush)
SpongeBob SquarePants (Too literal?)
Count Scrubula
Dirt Vader
Corny Cleaning Dad Jokes
Here are some questions that have absolutely no business being asked, followed by answers that will make you sigh audibly. We kept the format clean so you can copy-paste them to your family group chat and get blocked immediately.
Why did the broom get a poor grade in school? It was always sweeping during class.
What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It is time to go to sweep.
Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the mickey out of the clothes.
What kind of music does a vacuum cleaner listen to? Heavy metal, because it sucks.
Why did the person break up with the mop? Because it was too high maintenance.
What did the sponge say to the sink? I am soaking up the atmosphere.
Why did the dust bunny cross the road? Because the wind blew it there.
What is a cleaner’s favorite sport? Curling.
Why are archaeologists good at cleaning? They are always digging up dirt.
Did you hear about the romance between the broom and the dustpan? It swept them both off their feet.
Short Tidy Captions for Instagram
You cleaned your room and now you need validation from strangers on the internet. Use these captions to prove you are a functioning adult, even if you just shoved everything into the closet.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. 🧹
Alexa, clean my entire life. ✨
I run a tight ship… wreckage. 🚢
Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places. 🤫
Currently avoiding responsibilities by scrubbing the floor. 🧼
Sweeping is my cardio. (I need a gym membership). 🏃♀️
My maid quit, so I had to fire myself. 🚮
A clean house is a sign of a wasted life. Or so I tell myself. 🛋️
Laundry today or naked tomorrow. The choice is yours. 👕
Keep it clean, folks. Or don’t. I am not your mom. 🧴
A Squeaky Clean Finish
We have reached the end of the line. If you read all of these cleaning puns, your house is probably still dirty, and we apologize for distracting you. Honestly, we rate this experience a solid 9/10 on the “I Should Be Doing Something Else” scale. Go wash a dish or something.
Queries That Don’t Suck
What is a funny quote about cleaning?
“My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.” It is lazy, efficient, and relatable.
How do you make cleaning fun?
You don’t. But you can listen to a podcast, blast music, or read terrible puns to dissociate from the reality of scrubbing a toilet.
What do you call a person who loves cleaning?
A mythical creature. Or highly organized. Often referred to as “Monica” by friends who watch too much TV.
Why is cleaning so boring?
Because it is repetitive. The dust always comes back. It is the most ungrateful task in existence, much like writing blog posts about it.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
