Look, we get it. You saw a video of a giant coconut-shaped hamster sitting in a hot yuzu bath and now you are obsessed. You want jokes about the world’s largest rodent because apparently, that is where we are as a society.
We have compiled a massive list of jokes that are so bad, they might actually ruin your day. Here are the capybara puns you asked for but definitely didn’t need.
They are big, they are hairy, and they look like they possess the wisdom of the universe but actually just want grass. Here is the general collection of nonsense for your amusement.
Don’t worry, be capy.
I am absolutely capy-tivated by your presence.
That performance was bara none.
Let’s get this rodent the road.
I can bara-ly contain my excitement.
Are you fur real right now?
That’s a giant problem to have.
Let’s go to the bar-a tonight.
Stop squeaking around the bush.
I have a hunch you like giant rats.
We are heading to the snouth for the winter.
This situation is getting a bit hairy.
You really gnawed your way into my heart.
No cap, this is the best animal.
Keep your friends close and your rodents closer.
Cute Capybara Puns for Your Squeak-heart
If you are trying to flirt using rodent-based humor, you have already lost the game of love. But since you are insisting on doing this, here are some lines to send to your crush.
You make me so capy.
I chews you.
You are my signifi-cant otter. (Wait, wrong animal, still works).
Let’s spend some quali-tail time together.
I’m nuts about you.
We make a great pear.
You’ve got me feeling warm and fuzzy.
Our love is fur-ever.
Let’s cuddle puddle.
You are berry special to me.
My heart goes pitter-patter for you.
You are looking sharp today.
I love you a latte, almost as much as grass.
Let’s stick together like mud.
You are paw-sitively amazing.
Chill Puns About How Capybaras Relax
These animals operate on a level of chill that most yoga instructors can only dream of. Here are puns about being lazy, sleeping, and doing absolutely nothing productive.
Taking a nap-ybara.
Just chilling like a villain.
I’m in a state of zen.
Time to un-wind in the water.
Resting beach face.
Let’s soak up the sun.
I’m having a lazy river day.
Float on, float off.
Maximum relax-ation achieved.
Don’t disturb the peace.
Stay calm and carry on eating.
I’m having a slow day.
Just gliding through life.
Finding my inner peace.
Too tired to care.
Capybara Puns for Party Animals
Occasionally, these coconut dogs do more than sleep. If you are throwing a party and want to lower the vibe immediately, use these jokes.
Capy Birthday to you!
Let’s get the paw-ty started.
Have a rodent good time.
Turn up the beets.
Let’s raise the roof (slowly).
Dance your tail off.
It’s time to cel-e-brate.
Pour some w-otter for the guests.
This party is swimming.
Let’s have a gnaw-some time.
Don’t be a party pooper.
Eat, drink, and be hairy.
Make a splash tonight.
Let’s get wild (mildly).
Cheers to the big ears.
Food Puns Because Capybaras Are Always Eating
They eat grass, they eat watermelon, and they eat their own feelings. If you are hungry for terrible wordplay, this section is for you.
You are one in a melon.
That tastes grass-tastic.
Orange you glad to see me?
Lettuce eat.
Pass the snacks.
I’m rooting for dinner.
This salad is leaf-y good.
Hay there, good lookin’.
Time to chow down.
Don’t go nuts.
That’s a berry good meal.
I’m stuffed.
Water you eating?
Just a little nibble.
The crunch is real.
Work Puns for the Daily Grind
Even giant rodents have a job, which is mostly just existing and looking stoic. Use these when you are slack messaging your coworkers.
Back to the grind.
I’m swamped with work.
Let’s circle back to the pond.
Just floating ideas.
That meeting was a snooze fest.
My boss is a real rat.
Working hard or hardly working?
Let’s tackle this project.
I need a break.
Sending you a memo.
Let’s dive into the data.
The workflow is slow.
I’m logging off.
Don’t be snappy.
It’s a jungle out there.
Funny Capybara Names for Pets
If you are delusional enough to think you can own one of these in a studio apartment, you might as well name it something ridiculous.
Capy-tain America
Leonardo DiCapy-rio
Bara Obama
Harry Pawtter
Chewbacca
Coconut Doggy
Sir Chonks-a-Lot
Water White
Gort
Kumquat
Hairy Styles
Rodent Downey Jr.
Big Cheese
Swim Shady
Elon Muskrat
Corny Capybara Jokes That Will Empty the Room
These are the jokes that dads love and everyone else tolerates. We formatted them cleanly so you can read them and then immediately regret it.
Why did the capybara cross the road? To get to the other tide.
What is a capybara’s favorite play? Romeo and Juli-wet.
Why was the capybara so popular? He was the life of the paw-ty.
What do you call a capybara in a vest? An investi-gator.
Why don’t capybaras fight? They prefer to talk it snout.
What is a capybara’s favorite movie? The Rodent King.
Why was the capybara a good musician? He had perfect pch-ill.
What do you call a fast capybara? A myth.
Why did the capybara bring a ladder? To reach the high notes.
What is a capybara’s favorite fruit? Water-melon.
How do capybaras say goodbye? See you later, alligator (their best friends).
What did the capybara say to the grass? Nice to eat you.
Why did the capybara sit in the hot spring? To be in hot water.
What do you call a magical capybara? Harry Otter.
Why are capybaras bad at secrets? They always squeak.
Short Capybara Captions for Instagram
You have the photo, now you need the caption that proves you are funny. Paste these into Instagram or TikTok and wait for the likes (or unfollows) to roll in.
Okay, I pull up. 🚗
Living my best rodent life. 💅
Unbothered. Moist. Happy. 💦
Just a coconut with legs. 🥥
No thoughts, just vibes. ✨
Chill level: Capybara. 🧘
Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate. 🥔
Maximum relaxation mode activated. 🔋
Pulling up to the after party like… 😎
Capybara appreciation post. 🧡
Maximum Cap-acity Reached
We have reached the end of this swampy mess. If you read all of these, we are honestly concerned for your wellbeing.
Rating of Regret: 9/10 Cringes. Go touch the grass. Or eat it, if you are a capybara.
Rodent-i-quently Asked Questions
Can I legally own a capybara?
Probably not. Unless you live in Texas or Pennsylvania, usually, you need a license. Also, they poop in water. Do you want that in your house?
Do capybaras bite?
They have giant orange teeth that can crack wood. Yes, if you annoy them, they can bite. But usually, they just judge you silently.
Why are capybaras so chill?
They have very few natural predators in the water and they are social animals. Essentially, they realized that stressing out doesn’t help the grass grow faster.
Are capybaras just giant guinea pigs?
Yes. Scientifically, they are close cousins. Imagine a guinea pig that got hit with a growth ray and developed a Zen addiction.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
