Welcome to the wonderful world of diaper cakes, melted chocolate in diapers, and awkward small talk with distant relatives. If you are here, you likely forgot to buy a card and are frantically Googling something funny to write in the parking lot. Or maybe you are the host and realized your “Guess the Girth” game needs a rebrand. We don’t judge. We just supply the dad jokes.
Here is a collection of baby shower puns so bad they might induce labor. Good luck.
📑 Your Due Date Itinerary
General Baby Shower Puns for the Card
You have gathered to watch someone open gifts for three hours. It is a marathon, not a sprint. You need some material to keep the mood light while everyone pretends to be excited about the fourth set of onesies. Here are some puns to sprinkle into the conversation like baby powder.
Pregnancy Puns That Bump Up the Fun
The guest of honor is growing a human, her feet hurt, and she hasn’t seen her toes since 2025. She deserves a laugh. If she doesn’t laugh, blame the hormones. If she does laugh, make sure she doesn’t pee a little. (See our Funny Jokes for Nurses if things get medical).
Newborn Jokes for the Freshly Minted Human
They are small, they smell like milk, and they have no job. Babies are essentially unemployed roommates who scream at you. Let’s make fun of them before they learn to understand language.
Parenting Jokes About the Lack of Sleep
The shower is the last party before the parents enter the zombie phase. It is funny because it is true. They will need a lot of caffeine soon (check out our Morning Coffee Puns for survival tips), but for now, let’s joke about their impending doom.
Food & Cravings Puns for the Buffet Table
Let’s be honest. 40% of the guests just came for the free food. If you are serving donuts, you can use some of our Donut Puns, but here are some specific ones for the baby shower spread.
Gender Reveal Puns (Boy or Girl?)
Blue or pink? Or maybe beige because “sad beige baby” is the aesthetic now. Whether it is a boy, a girl, or a surprise, here are puns to keep the mystery alive.
Funny Baby Names (That You Should Definitely Not Use)
If you hate the parents, suggest these names. If you love them, suggest them anyway just to see the look of panic on their faces.
Corny Baby Shower Dad Jokes
Nothing says “I am ready to be a father” like telling jokes that make everyone in the room physically uncomfortable. Here is the Q&A section to memorize while you wait for the diaper cake to be cut.
Short Baby Shower Captions for Instagram
You need to post the photo so people know you are supportive, but you also want to get back to scrolling TikTok. Use these quick captions to get the engagement you crave.
We’ve Officially Cut the Cord
We have reached the end of the line. If you used any of these puns in a card, we apologize to the recipient. The cringe level is currently at a solid 9/10.
If you need to clean up your act after all these dirty diaper jokes, check out our Cleaning Puns or distract yourself with Flower Puns for the new mom. Now, go win that bingo game.
Don’t Cry, Here Are Answers
What do you write in a baby shower card if you aren’t sentimental?
“You made a tiny human. Good job. Here is a gift card.” Simple, effective, and honest.
Are baby shower puns appropriate for a boss?
Only if you want to be promoted to “Customer” soon. Stick to “Congratulations” unless your boss is Michael Scott.
How many puns is too many for a speech?
One is too many. But if you are committed, aim for three. Any more and they might throw the diaper genie at you.
Can I use these jokes for a second baby?
Yes, but the parents will be too tired to laugh. They know the truth now.
