Look, we know why you are here. You have a weird, permanently smiling water-dog in a glass box, and you have run out of things to say about it. Or maybe you are just bored at work and trying to annoy your coworkers with amphibian humor. We don’t judge. We just provide the ammunition. Here is a list of jokes about the walking fish that refuses to grow up. We are sorry.
Axolotl Puns That Will Make You Ask-olotl Questions
These creatures look like they know the secrets of the universe but are too polite to tell you. They just smile and float there. Here are some puns that are barely staying afloat.
I like you a lottle.
Thanks a lottle for helping me out.
You sure ax-olotl questions for someone with no ears.
I’m going to ax you one more time to stop tapping the glass.
That is an ax-ellent idea.
Don’t act so shell-fish, share your worms.
I am totally gill-ty of loving this weird lizard.
Let’s tank a moment to appreciate this face.
I’m feeling a bit green around the gills today.
Keep it reel, man.
You are fin-tastic, even if you have legs.
I have a hunch you like water.
That joke was walking the line between funny and sad.
Stop lurking in the weeds.
I’m just here for the halibut… wait, wrong species.
Salamander Puns For When You Don’t Give A Dam
Technically, axolotls are salamanders that never went through puberty. If you like slimy things that live in water, you might also want to check out our frog love puns or even some worm puns since that is what these guys eat for dinner.
Don’t be such a salamander-thal.
I’m going to salamander around town today.
He is a real smooth operator (because he is slimy).
Better late than never, said the newt.
I’m newt here, can you show me around?
That is newt news to me.
Just go with the flow.
I’m really amphib-ivalent about this situation.
Stop telling fibs, you little amphibian.
Let’s hop to it… oh wait, we just crawl.
My skin is too sensitive for your insults.
I’m feeling a little sluggish.
You look radiant, must be the slime.
Water you dune later?
This is soda-pressing, I need a swim.
Cute Amphibian Jokes That Are Slippery When Wet
If you think these are bad, you should see our fish dad jokes. At least fish have the decency to stay underwater where we can’t hear them. Here are jokes for things that are moist and confusing.
You are toad-ally awesome.
I’m pond of you.
Let’s make a splash.
Water under the bridge.
I’m stuck on you like slime.
You are un-frog-ettable, even if you aren’t a frog.
Don’t croak under pressure.
I’m waiting with bated breath… literally, I have gills.
You are ribbiting, tell me more.
Let’s bog down into the details.
I’m muddling through my day.
You are the slime of my life.
Keep your chin up, or you’ll drown.
I’m wading for a sign.
That’s a load of carp, honestly.
Pink Animal Captions For Your Lonely Heart
Axolotls are pink. Hearts are pink. It is a loose connection, but we are working with what we have. If you need more ammo for your crush, try these valentine puns for boyfriend or perhaps some cute fruit puns.
I’m tickled pink to see you.
You make me blush.
Pretty in pink and slime.
I pink I love you.
You are rosy and cozy.
Don’t shrink in the pink.
I’m glowing with affection.
You are berry sweet.
My heart beats for you.
Let’s stick together.
You are a rare find.
I’m fading without you.
You are magical like a unicorn, but wet.
I pig out on love.
You color my world.
Aquarium Jokes Because Glass Boxes Are Funny
If your axolotl lives in a tank, these are for you. If he lives in your bathtub, please seek help. For more water-based humor, dive into our ocean puns.
Tank you very much.
No tanks, I’m good.
I’m just glassing around.
Don’t tap the glass, it’s rude.
I’m in a glass case of emotion.
Water quality time.
I’m filtering out the haters.
Don’t be so shallow.
I’m barely treading water here.
This place is a dive.
I need some space to swim.
Stop bubbling with rage.
I’m gravel-ing for forgiveness.
This is my happy place.
Just keep swimming… into the wall.
Regeneration Puns For When You Need A Second Chance
Axolotls can grow their legs back. You can’t. That is why they are cooler than you. If you like jokes about bodies, check out our skeleton puns.
I’m going to go out on a limb here.
I need a hand with this.
That cost an arm and a leg… but I grew them back.
I’m healing nicely.
Don’t lose your head, you can’t grow that back.
I’m a growing boy.
Leg go of my ego.
I’ve got a leg up on the competition.
I’m kicking it.
I’m stumped.
Parts is parts.
I’m regenerating my interest in this conversation.
Give me a break, I’ll fix it.
I’m attached to my limbs.
You are tearing me apart!
Axolotl Names That Are Borderline Abuse
Please do not actually name your pet these. Or do. They can’t hear you anyway.
Sir Ax-a-lot
Aristotle
Lottle
Al (short for Axolotl)
Gilly Nelson
Harry Water
Newt Scamander
Pinky
Slim Shady
Bubblegum
Dr. Strange-gills
The Great Gatsby (he had a pool too)
Hydra
Kirby
Smiley
Corny Axolotl Dad Jokes
If you enjoy these, you have officially given up. We have plenty more where this came from, like our star wars dad jokes.
Why did the axolotl cross the road? He didn’t, he has no lungs and would dry out immediately.
What do you call an axolotl detective? Sherlock Foams.
Why was the axolotl so good at math? He really knew how to add… limbs.
What is an axolotl’s favorite instrument? The bass guitar.
Why are axolotls such good listeners? They soak it all in.
What do you call a possessed axolotl? An ex-orcist.
Why did the axolotl get bad grades? He was below C-level.
How does an axolotl introduce himself? “Water you doing later?”
What is an axolotl’s favorite snack? Worm-ies.
Why did the axolotl blush? He saw the ocean’s bottom.
Short Axolotl Captions for Instagram
Because if you don’t post it, did you even spend $50 on a glorified tadpole?
I like you a lottle. 🦎
Just here for the worms. 🐛
Feeling pink. 🌸
Gills just wanna have fun. 💦
Always smiling. 🙂
Tank life. 🐠
Wet and wild. 🌊
My therapist has gills. 🧠
Axolotl questions later. ❓
Low maintenance, high cute. ✨
The Final Ax-t
We have officially run out of ways to make fun of this pink lizard. We hope you found what you were looking for. If you didn’t, honestly, just look at a picture of one. It is funnier than anything we could write.
Rating of Regret: 8/10 Cringes. We need a towel.
What to do now: Go clean the tank. It’s probably dirty.
The Ax-acting Truth
Are axolotls fish?
No, they are amphibians. They just refuse to grow up and leave the water like responsible adults.
Do axolotls bite?
Technically yes, but they have tiny sandpaper teeth. It feels like being gummed by a very aggressive velcro strip.
Can I hold my axolotl?
You really shouldn’t. Their skin is super sensitive and your oily human hands are gross to them.
Why is my axolotl staring at me?
He is waiting for food. That is the only thought in his head. Food.
The Person To Blame
Umer | Chief Regret Officer
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
