You willingly typed “alien jokes” into a search engine, which means you have already given up on being the cool friend. We compiled this massive list of awful extraterrestrial humor because making terrible puns is our actual toxic trait. Please forgive us for the permanent damage this will do to your social life.
Grab some tape and secure that aluminum foil tightly to your scalp. These UFO puns are flying in under the radar to abduct your last remaining brain cells.
The alien refused to pay for his drinks because he was already saucered.
I saw a spaceship park in a handicap spot, but it is okay since it had a flying permit.
When the aliens started a rock band, they immediately bought a heavy metal saucer.
Unidentified flying objects always seem to have a really uplifting personality.
The spaceship broke down on the highway, so they had to call a tow-UFO.
That alien pilot is terrible at his job because he keeps winging it.
I asked the extraterrestrial how he likes his tea, and he said in a flying saucer.
The UFO felt sick after eating too much space junk, so it got a little green around the gills.
Aliens hate playing hide and seek because they always get spotted in the sky.
My friend said he saw a UFO, but I think his story is completely alienated from the truth.
Space Captions for When You Need to Alienate Your Followers
Sometimes you just need to post a picture that screams “I need attention from other planets.” If you want to drop your follower count faster than a helmet falling off a space suit, use these captions.
Instagram One-Liners for Flying Saucer Selfies
Perfect for ruining your carefully curated grid. Even the heroes from Marvel would cringe at these.
If your TikTok drafts are piling up, slap one of these on a video. It is basically the Gen Alpha equivalent of a dad joke.
Trying to hit the griddy in zero gravity 👽
POV you just got abducted but they let you keep your phone 🛸
Main character energy from another planet ✨
Rate my fit out of ten stars ⭐️
Catching flights, not feelings, preferably in a UFO 🛸
My brain cells are floating in orbit right now 🧠
Do not text, I am currently fighting a Martian 👽
This audio is literally out of this atmosphere ☁️
Space invading your For You Page today 🛸
Dropping this video like a meteorite ☄️
Martian Humor Guaranteed to Lower Your Earthly IQ
If you thought Earth jokes were bad, wait until you hear what the red planet has to offer. You might need to check your brain at the door for this section.
Why did the Martian go to culinary school? He wanted to make some crater dishes.
How do Martians organize a party? They planet weeks in advance.
What do you call a Martian who loves to clean? A vacuum cleaner.
Why are Martians always so relaxed? They have zero gravity issues.
What is a Martian’s favorite candy? A Mars bar, obviously.
Why did the Martian break up with the astronaut? He needed more space.
How do Martians pay for their coffee? With star bucks.
What do Martians wear to weddings? Their best space suits.
Why did the Martian get a timeout? He was acting a little alien.
What is a Martian’s favorite button on a keyboard? The space bar.
Extraterrestrial Puns That Probe Way Too Deep
We are getting into uncomfortable territory now. These puns are sneaking up on you like a raccoon in the middle of the night.
The alien went to the doctor because he was feeling a little light-headed from the laser beam.
Do not trust extraterrestrials with your secrets, they are known to spill the space beans.
The alien chef got fired because his soup was completely tasteless in a vacuum.
I tried to date an extraterrestrial, but our relationship had no atmosphere.
Aliens are terrible at golf because they always get stuck in the black holes.
Extraterrestrials make awful musicians because they cannot find the right pitch in space.
The alien tailor was highly recommended because his clothes are truly out of this world.
Extraterrestrials never get lost because they always follow the Milky Way.
I asked the alien for directions, but he just pointed to a star and walked away.
The alien got a job in IT because he was great at probing the network.
Galaxy Jokes for the Astronomically Unfunny
These jokes are so vast and empty that they resemble the void of space. They are the comedic equivalent of getting lost in a triangle of bad decisions.
Why did the galaxy break up with the universe? It just needed some space to grow.
What do you call a galaxy that is always late? A slow-poke nebula.
How do galaxies keep their hair looking good? They use an asteroid belt.
Why are galaxies so bad at keeping secrets? They have too many shooting stars listening.
What is a galaxy’s favorite type of music? Nep-tunes.
Why did the galaxy go to therapy? It had too many black holes in its memory.
How do galaxies clean their floors? With a meteor shower.
What do you call a hungry galaxy? A Milky Way craving.
Why did the galaxy refuse to fight? It did not want to cause a big bang.
What is a galaxy’s favorite sport? Weight lifting in zero gravity.
Sci-Fi Knock-Knock Jokes to Ruin Movie Night
Nothing kills the mood of a good sci-fi marathon faster than a terrible knock-knock joke. Bust these out when your friends are trying to watch Star Wars in peace.
Knock, knock.
Who is there? Alien.
Alien who? Alien on the doorbell, please let me in.
Knock, knock.
Who is there? UFO.
UFO who? UFO-rgot to lock the door, so I walked in.
Knock, knock.
Who is there? Mars.
Mars who? Mars your face look like that?
Knock, knock.
Who is there? Space.
Space who? Space your words out, you are talking too fast.
Knock, knock.
Who is there? Planet.
Planet who? Planet safe, always wear your seatbelt.
Knock, knock.
Who is there? Crater.
Crater who? Crater late than never.
Knock, knock.
Who is there? Star.
Star who? Star-t the movie already, I am bored.
Knock, knock.
Who is there? Comet.
Comet who? Comet me bro.
Knock, knock.
Who is there? Orbit.
Orbit who? Orbit you did not see that coming.
Knock, knock.
Who is there? Saturn.
Saturn who? Saturn a chair and relax.
Alien Abduction Humor for Willing Volunteers
If you are hoping to get beamed up just to escape your daily responsibilities, these jokes are for you. They hit harder than wrestling an extraterrestrial for the last slice of pizza.
I told the aliens to abduct me, but they said my vibe was too toxic for their ship.
The alien abduction was going great until they asked me to do math onboard.
If I get abducted, I hope the aliens have good Wi-Fi on their saucer.
The aliens brought me back because I kept complaining about the legroom in the tractor beam.
Getting abducted by aliens sounds like a great excuse to miss work tomorrow.
I packed a bag for my alien abduction, mostly just snacks and skincare.
The aliens tried to mind-read me, but they just got a loop of a catchy pop song.
I asked my alien abductors for a window seat, but they said it was a premium upgrade.
Getting abducted is fine, but I refuse to participate in any unauthorized probing.
The aliens dropped me off early because I would not stop asking if we were there yet.
Fleeing the Planet After These Galaxy Jokes
We made it to the end, and we are not proud of what happened here. If you read our terms of service, you would know we hold no legal responsibility for the groans you just caused.
Rating of Regret: 9/10 Abductions.
We highly recommend you close this tab, clear your browser history, and deny you ever found this page. If you must share these, please do it responsibly (or annoyingly) on the group chat.
Intergalactic Q&A Because You Have Too Much Free Time
Still here? These are the burning questions about aliens that nobody asked, but we are answering them anyway. Grab some hot pot and settle in for this nonsense.
Umer is the founder of PunSpill and a certified disappointment to his high school guidance counselor. He spends his days writing puns that make people groan and his nights arguing with Gerald, his emotional support opossum (and Head of HR).
He created this website because his friends muted him in the group chat. If you hated this article, please direct your complaints to the opossum; he handles the shredding.
I'm Umer. He's Gerald. I write the bad jokes; he handles the complaints (by sleeping). We created PunSpill so you have something to send your friends to annoy them. Read the full confession here.
